This only goes back to 6/05/06. The site has been around longer than that, but no logs were kept because I was stupid.

Also, due to movement and whatnot, some links might not work.

2014 Updates

8/13 - Super Chevon Boy
Two things, today. For the hors d'oeuvres, the rest of the 3D Lemmings soundtrack has been posted over in the Lemmings Music, and the Win95 music has been reinstated.

For the main course we have the July quickies. So much for going back to doing those every other month.

7/30 - From Nuking a Scientist to Nuking Some Lemmings
The next chapter of the Merged Hulk is going to take a while, so I decided that in between updates to that I'm going to work on cleaning up Lemmings FOREVER. For starters I've redone the Lemmings Music page so that it's in the same format as the main Game Music page. I've also added the complete soundtrack for Adventures of Lomax and an extended, but not yet complete listing for 3D Lemmings. I'll add more songs to that one later.

There's some other versions of the original Lemmings I need to add, most notably the friggin' Amiga version. I might also have to rerip some of the current music, as I may have run it through that same conversion tool that deformed some of the Garfield: Caught in the Act music - the Genesis versions of Awesome and Twang sound warped, and others have popping sounds.

I've temporarily taken down the Win95 versions - I can't exactly explain why, but those ones are hard as hell to write descriptions for and they were holding up the entire update. They'll be back next update when I've figured out something to hammer out. I also noticed I'm missing some songs for the console versions of Lemmings, like the ending theme for the SNES version. I deliberately left Menace off the Genesis version because it just sounds like noise to me, but eh, I'll probably add it when I redo the Genesis music.

And a shoutout to reader darthlink for pointing out some typos on various pages of the site.

I had no idea until an ad related to it showed up in my email, but the San Diego Comic-Con is just around the corner. So I guess it's a great time for me to launch my writeup on the Merged Hulk, which I did a Quickie for back in October 2013. This first chapter covers roughly twenty-two books, some more thoroughly than others. As I was working on it I realized that with about 60 books to cover, I needed to stagger it out. Chapters 2 and 3 will follow.

"Yeah, right Codie. Look what happened with your article on the Ultraverse."

I'm trying to get back to that.

UPDATE UPDATE 7/20: Thanks to site reader Whitney for pointing out that I had the recent updates labeled as August instead of July.

7/04 - Odin ex Machina
So how about that Steam summer sale, guys? I myself blew the tax refund money I'd been saving on art software.

I was hoping to have that big project out in time for American Circlejerk Day, but even after busting my chops on it for the past week, it still wasn't ready. Hopefully one more week will be all I need to get the last of it written and edited. So for today you'll have to settle for the June 2014 quickies.

I've also gone back and added some old updates to the RSS Feed. I'm not going to add everything all the way back all the way to 2006, but I'll probably add the more important stuff from the past few years.

6/24 - Something Something Klopman Diamond
The Garfield: Caught in the Act section of Game Music has been completely redone. The section now features the complete soundtrack as well as the soundtrack for the Genesis version. I also reripped all the music for the PC version because the old versions were done when I had fewer tools, and in converting them from .wav to .mp3 I ran them through tool that warped the songs a bit - it was especially noticeable in the Catsablanca song.

A button has also been added at the top of the main page for the RSS Feed. It was also recommended to me that the RSS Feed should match the main page update, so I'll be doing that from now on.

6/17 - Feed Me
So, I decided I didn't want MOREC getting two Terrible Crossover Fanfic collections in a row. Instead, I compiled and edited the previous two updates with some other scraps I'd had sitting around into a third roundup of Odds and Ends.

I also finally got around to creating an RSS Feed after being asked about it by a site reader whose name was in Russian so I can't publicly thank them. It was a while back, but since I've never used RSS Feeds I had to do a little research and experimenting on what they were and how they worked. Yes, I can be a bit slow. I don't have an icon at the top of the page yet, but I'll make one up when I'm reunited with my preferred art tools. For now you can use the provided link to subscribe.

EDIT: Okay, the Russian characters seems to have been a glitch, as their name came through correctly when I contacted them. Thanks Maiku.

6/12 - Cat and Mouse
I still haven't been able to scrape together enough expendable brain cells to delve into that Sega-16 topic, but site reader Victor was brave enough to sacrifice a bit of his own mental health and read it for me, then give me the rundown. White knighting, knee-jerking, and nobody asking about that modified Witcher emblem. So yeah, pretty much what I expected. But he also tells me that Zebbe...

... keeps calling me a "he." Fair enough, most people assume I'm male at first, and even I assume people on the Internet are male unless something suggests otherwise. And no, I didn't expect him to read all the way to end of my Pier Solar review and see that "fake geek girl" comment. But this is even after another Sega-16 member tells him I'm female. So either his reading comprehension is even worse than I imagined or he wants to believe I have a dick for some reason. If I wanted to take a cheapshot at him - and I do - I'd suggest he's intimidated by the idea that a girl might know more about video games than him.

... is still telling me to "not take things so seriously", which seems to mean either "Stop THINKING so much!" or "I should be able to say whatever claptrap I want without thinking of the consequences and if you find it questionable that's your problem". I think Jim Sterling would like to have a word with you, which is primarily about art, yes, but certainly applies to any form of expression. For fuck's sake dude, show a little responsibility, admit you said something stupid, and clarify your stance on the SNES instead of giving me that "8-bit data bus" crap. Then I'll admit I fell for Poe's Law, stop calling you "Mr. SNES is 8-bit", and we can both move on with our lives. I also guess I was supposed to find that Aaendi guy (Dragonboy to anyone at Sega-16 who might be reading this) coming to my forum, feigning interest in SNES programming before spewing MRA hatred about how women deserve it if they get raped* cute?

... eventually calls himself something along the lines of a "genius of retro gaming, a saviour from the golden ages of true gaming". So either he's having a hissy fit that Manfred von Karma would be proud of, or he's just saying that in hopes that I'll "take him seriously" and tear into him. Oh, Zee-Zee, you really are too much. Come to think of it, that might be the reason he keeps calling me a dude.

Site reader Fuzy2K informed me Zebbe did eventually figure out I'm a woman, and had this to say:

Well, as you probably saw I've been so before, and it feels good actually to have someone anonymous I've never met so far away from me to feel so strong about my opinions (and what I do) that she decides to put her valuable spare time to write about it.

Then it's a win-win situation for both of us, isn't it? You get the satisfaction of knowing that somebody's spending her time taking the piss out of you, and I get to entertain my readers by verbally disemboweling a complete dumbass.

Sorry for the filler update. I've got a major project in the works, but it's taking longer than I thought it would. Expect another piece of filler in the form of some more terrible crossover fanfic next week.

* Or something to that effect; Aaendi deleted the post he'd embedded the video in from this topic so I can't really double check what it was exactly about, and I obviously never watched the video. But the gist of it was justifying/trivializing the rape of women.

UPDATE UPDATE 6/13: Victor clarified that Zebbe never actually called himself a "genius of retro gaming, a saviour from the golden ages of true gaming", just that he and his posse act like he is. Good enough for me.

6/05 - And If You're Still Confused, It's A Menstruation Joke
So a few days ago I found this in my tracker:

And tought, Oh my, I guess somebody stumbled into my Sega-16 and/or April Fool's MOREC.

The next day, my suspicions were confirmed when I found the following URL in my site statistics: I haven't looked at the link yet because one word tells me all I need to know about the level of intelligence and reading comprehension to expect from it; hey asshole, what the hell did you think that line about me "not exactly [being] at [my] most patient time of the month right now" meant? And that aside I know the topic's going to read like the highlight of a Flying Omelette Site Tracking Adventure or the Angry Reactions page at the Bad Webcomics Wiki; full of white knighting, knee-jerking, and people assuring WaterMelon that no really, Pier Solar was totally an original, emotional experience, especially when a lemming asks you how many times you've farted in your life, and that Rudy accidentally plaguing the Goaman was nothing like Cecil accidentally burning down the village of Mist. Am I going to do a MOREC on the response later? Probably not unless I get a direct email from somebody at Sega-16 or WaterMelon, because as hilarious as that Sega-16 topic surely must be I feel like I myself would be shooting fish in a barrel by writing about it, and my head still hurts from the research I did for the original MOREC.

So screw it, I know I said I was going to go back to doing these every other month, but here's the May 2014 quickies.

It's the update you've all been waiting a year and a half for! Today I've got a second batch of Terrible Crossover Fanfiction in MOREC. Sadly I didn't get anything as awesome as Freakazoid/Dead Rising from last time.

5/21 - We Have a New Word Today, Boys and Girls! "Spiteful!"
Ha ha, just when you thought I'd moved on! Today we look at why Sega-16 is Hilarious. Okay, honestly, I'm trying to move on, but it's just too hard for me to resist content that practically writes itself.

And a gold star to site reader Lorenz for recognizing the reference in the previous update's header.

5/14 - It's Fast, Wet, and Usually Named After Someone You Know
An update to Music Downloads with Ducktales Remastered. I also edited the Binding of Isaac listing a tad. No new songs, but I have the DLC now and updated the description for "Latter Days" now that I know where it's used.

And a gold star to anyone who knows what the header of this update is referring to.

5/05 - [Insert Joke About Cinco De Mayo and Guacamelee Here]
April Quickies. I'll be going back to posting the quickies every other month now.

I've also updated my Game Collection. I imagine some games have slipped through the cracks, but damn, I hadn't even posted my 3DS games despite owning the system for well over a year now. One reason I haven't kept up with that is I've been more into digital purchases through Steam, GOG, and Humble Bundle lately, and along with XBLA, PSN, WiiWare, and 3DSWare games I don't know how to list them; I know they're (for lack of a better word) legitimate, but listing them still feels like showing off a ROM collection.

As for recoding the tables, everything's done except the Bestiary and holy shit, that entire section needs a major overhaul. Recoding the tables has also been a good opportunity to go through and fix the code that caused the formatting problems in Firefox on most of the pages. It's also been a good opportunity to curse out my past self for writing godawful bollocks like this.

4/25 - I Know, I Know, Move On Already
No update today, just an interlude to make a couple of announcements. First of all, just when I had faith in my past self she goes and screws me. See, in the wake of Microsoft discontinuing XP I got a Windows 8.1 computer with the guts to run Skyrim on Medium settings and a screen with a 1920x1080 resolution. But due to the way I'd coded the tables the pages of my site stretched out to fill the screen and made the site look like ass. So I'm in the process of editing all those tables to look right on anything 1024 or over, and have really only gotten around to the most important pages (Suito Homu, Review Quickies, all MORECs, my best reviews). Then I screwed myself again when I automatically punched in 1024 for the width, which was actually too wide on 1024 monitors. So if the site's been screwed up lately, that's why.

Secondly, news recently reached me that in anticipation of their upcoming Genesis game (I don't know whether it's this or their SNES game that the modified Witcher emblem is in)
WaterMelon has announced a collectible poster that costs a whopping $120. Yes, you read that right, $120 for a poster. High-quality paper and hand-printed silkscreen my ass, for 120 clams those things need to be individually hand-painted. Maybe this is their April Fool's joke, but if so it's even later and less imaginative than mine was. Now, I'm not going to do a MOREC on that because I have more important things to do right now (namely fixing my tables), and I can just let the Hulk and friends summarize my thoughts:

4/20 - No Pot Jokes From Me... Wait, Shit
So Easter was creeping up and I realized, "Damn, I don't have anything to write about for Easter, do I?" Then I realized my past self came through for my current self for once, and there was something I'd had sitting on my harddrive for a year, maybe 75% done, waiting for me to finally finish it. So here you go, a page of Monkey Island Oddities. I originally intended to complete Escape from Monkey Island before posting that, but because Escape is completely bugged up the butt on XP (on top of just not being very good) and ResidualVM only supports Grim Fandango, I never got around to it.

4/08 - Happy End of Windows XP Day, Everyone!
I talked the MOREC I mentioned in the previous update over with a friend, and decided to go through with it. So here it is, a reminder to the Internet that I Am a Horrible Person.

4/01 - Vinegar is Sweet Compared to You
I had an April Fool's themed MOREC planned for today, but kept going back and forth on whether or not I should go through with it. Long story short, I donned a laughably thin disguise and figuratively hurled a brick with my review tied to it through WaterMelon's window, then took some photos of the monkeys flinging their poo in retaliation. On one hand, the whole thing seemed extraordinarily shitty even for me. On the other hand, I'd already done the shittiest part of it, and there's some things somebody really needs to call attention to like how one of the characters in an upcoming project is clearly a modified Witcher emblem. Then some... um, unpleasantries arose at an affiliated forum, and because of some names I brought up in the MOREC I felt it would have been an extremely tasteless thing to post right now. Maybe I'll post it later when the dust settles and I'm in another especially crabby mood, or I may edit the more relevant parts into a future Odds and Ends MOREC.

But I will go ahead and post the other item I had planned to offset the bitterness of the whole thing, that being the March 2014 quickies.

Also, many thanks to site reader B16kilgore for notifying me that my Donate button wasn't working. I had a friend test it when I first put it up, but somehow it got broken since then.

3/17 - Éirinn go Brách!
It's your lucky day, everybody! I've finally got around to covering The Hypnosis Enigma. Yes, I know Lemmings are Scottish rather than Irish, but everybody's pretending to be Irish today anyway.

I also finally set up a Twitter account. If you choose to follow me, I promise I won't inform you all everytime one of the cats uses the litter box. I'm mainly going to use it for announcing site updates.

3/08 - Seriously, Fuck the Statue Park
2014 Quickies kick off with January and February.

2/14 - A Pile of Puke By Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet
And what would would be more appropriate on Valentine's Day than to clean the last of the bile out of my gut onto Pier Solar's screaming face in my latest MOREC, Pier Solar Review Scraps.

Now to take my own advice and move on with my life, because I'm sure you all are getting as sick of me talking about the game as I'm getting of talking about it.

1/21 - The Kid Just Rages for the Bit
Review Quickies for December are up, as well as the Year in Review.

2013 Updates

12/26 - It's My Party and I'll Bitch if I Want To
Hope you all enjoyed your Christmas cheer, 'cause now it's time to get the bile umbrellas out. That's right, I finally got around to finishing and reviewing Pier Solar. Spoiler alert: It's still completely terrible.

And over in the Music section I updated the Cthulhu Saves the World music with the official track names and the artist.

12/04 - Presenting Probably the Nerdiest Quickie I've Ever Written
Let's see what I was up to in October and November with the latest batch of quickies.

There was something I was hoping to get up for my birthday, but it's taking significantly longer than I thought it would. But I should get done in time to ruin your Christmas.

11/17 - Lax Master
I've added two games to the Game Music section: The Binding of Isaac with - appropriately enough - thirteen songs, and Blaster Master: Blasting Again with nine. Funny, on one set I had to remove a loop from the songs, and on the other I had to add one.

I might throw up some more Blasting Again music later, but since I have to sift through a bunch of noodling to find the worthwhile stuff, then manually edit in the second loop, I'll take that one a little at a time.

10/15 - Push the Buttons!
August and September quickies today.

And since there's a whopping four movies between the two months, and the two in August barely count as reviews (one amounts to "check this other person's review"), I also added some Super Meat Boy music to the Music section. That soundtrack actually makes me feel bad for trash talking the game back in 2011.

09/10 - A Loop of Infinite Madness
A year later, I finally got another Cracked article accepted, this one being a team up with Sever R (thanks, pal!): 6 Hilarious Video Game Glitches You Have to See to Believe. For the curious, I wrote the entries for Aliens: Colonial Marines, the enemy suicides in Melee and Dark Souls, and Assassin's Creed III.

I apologize, but my August was just too miserable for me to prepare an update for this site, so here's a grab bag of older stuff for you to check out:

1993 Called. It Wants Its Console War Back

Blasting Again Stupidity

Daniel X is Terrible

Dr. Robotnik: Animation's Sexiest Fat Man

Review Quickies

Terrible Crossover Fanfiction

08/18 - Healing Wounds
Another update to an old title in the Game Music, this time twelve new songs for Elemental Master. There were actually some really spiffy songs in that game I didn't have up for some reason, though in the case of the later bosses it was because the charged Light shot is so stupidly overpowered I'd take them out just as their music was starting, so I never really got to listen to those until I sat down with a .gym set.

I was going to get that up sooner, but at the beginning of the month my life went completely to hell with the sudden death of my brother, who was only 28. I still can't believe it. He'd just come down to my workplace to give me a jump when I left my car's lights on. At the beginning of the week, he'd done a pig roast with a neighbor. Two nights before he took me to dinner with the money he got from that pig roast. The night before he was playing Portal 2. I love you, Cameron, and I always will. May we be reunited in the next life.

07/17 - Got Got Need Got Need Got
May and June quickies, fresh off the grill. Would've come sooner, but the Steam Summer Sale happened.

06/29 - RAZE DA ROOF
Got a haul of of Game Music for you all. First up, a new section for Brain Lord with a whopping 21 songs, although some are better than others.

Next, five songs have been added to Jamestown and I've edited all the songs to display the game's full name of "Jamestown: Legend of the Lost Colony".

Third, I've added one song to Shadow of the Beast III.

And finally, 29 songs have been to CIMA: The Enemy, and I rewrote the laughably bad intro. I don't know why some of these games' soundtracks are so incomplete. Maybe I was trying to be selective when I launched that section? Or only putting up a few songs as a teaser? I dunno, but it's time to fix that.

There was one another game I intended to flesh out, but figured I'd save that for next time.

06/16 - For All The Dads Out There Who Are Into Contact Lens Porn
I've revamped the My Opinion Ruined Everyone's Christmas table of contents to be less wall of text-y. And for good measure, there's a sixth batch of Bizarre Search Queries up as well.

06/09 - Zoidbird!
I got another TopTenz list published: Top 10 Weird Looking Birds That Look Photoshopped. I added a link to it into the File Cabinet.

Unfortunately, I slacked off and don't have any additional content for the site, though. Feel free to peruse, though!

05/20 - I Made a Funny
Next up, the Review Quickies for March and April. If you're wondering why I didn't play Escape from Monkey Island, I started playing it and cleared the first act at Lucre Island, but the most I got out of it was an indicator of why Tales doesn't mention it very often. The game's also buggy as hell on XP, and I had to replay the only inspired moment so far roughly five times because a patch broke my saves, and then Guybrush kept getting trapped in a pier.

05/03 - Dead Horses
Yeah, sorry I really didn't do anything in April. I was juggling a couple of projects, then a couple more came up, and I wound up getting none of them done on time. Hopefully that means I should be able to fire off several things in May.

Let's start with some more Genesis fanboy flamebaiting in MOREC as I inform the Internet that 1993 Called. It Wants Its Console War Back.

03/31 - Easter Bunny? 'Round Here, It's the Easter Lemming
Finally, I got the Lemmings: The Genesis Quest article finished. Or at least as finished as I could with the amount of time I care to invest into it. Seriously, fuck that book.

Since that's a bit short (again, fuck that book), I've also thrown up some assorted Monkey Island music in the Music section. Since most of the games only have a song or two I feel is worth uploading (i.e. the opening credits theme), I just threw all the songs for the series into one category.

UPDATE UPDATE 4/5: A discussion at Flying Omelette's forum prompted me to download a .gym set of Elemental Master, which contained the official names of the songs. So, I updated my Elemental Master listing in the Game Music with them.

03/13 - Jib Jig
2013 quickies kick off with January and Februrary.

02/17 - A Pathetic Creature of Meat and Bone
I was aiming to get that article on Lemmings: The Genesis Quest done for Valentine's Day, but that didn't happen, and it didn't happen in the next few days, so I'm putting it off for at least a week more. Until then, here's another round of Odds and Ends in MOREC.

Also, System Shock 2 is now available at But 1 is still stuck in licensing hell, so my article on running the games on XP isn't completely obsolete yet.

01/14 - I've Got a Fucking Image To Maintain
The ads on the Bestiary expired, so I took them down, but unlike Lemmings Forever I didn't do anything on the actual page. I'll get to revamping it later. Instead, I close 2012 with December quickies and the Year in Review.

2012 Updates

12/26 - One More Present
I was gearing to have my opinion ruin Christmas with a fifth round of Bizarre Search Queries, but I guess everybody was online because I just could not get FileZilla to make a connection yesterday. So I guess it'll have to ruin your Boxing Day, instead.

12/12 - Weiss, You Dumbass!
September, October, and November quickies.

There were a few more movies I watched in September that I omitted because I was having so much trouble writing the quickies I decided I needed to rewatch them, those being Batman Begins, Watership Down, and My Fellow Americans, although it might say plenty about the movie itself that I am not looking forward to sitting through Batman Begins again. I also dropped Cat Ballou because I remembered and cared even less about it than Batman Begins, and The Great Escape because I hate reviewing movie classics since (A) I go into them feeling like my opinion has already been decided, so I sit through the movie on autopilot, and (B) do I really need to review it? It's like reviewing Pac-Man.

Oh, and happy 12/12/12.

UPDATE UPDATE 12/16 - Oh hey, a list I submitted to TopTenz got published: Top 10 Best Christmas Songs (That Everyone Finds Annoying), although I submitted it as "The Ten Best Christmas Songs (For Enraging Everybody in the Store)". Put your sanity somewhere it won't get damaged and check it out.

I also added a link to this article under Miscellany in the File Cabinet.

11/25 - Oh No!
So now that an ad on the page has expired, I've revamped the main page of Lemmings FOREVER. I also edited the format of the Products and Oddities pages to be less terrible. Speaking of terrible, I was meaning to get an article on the Genesis Quest gamebook up as well, but the book is so crap I could only invest enough shits in it to get the bones of the article down. It's a draining ordeal trying to write about this thing, but I'll still try because I love you all.

Eventually I'll rewrite the existing pages to meet my current standards, but I think I should finally create pages for Paintball and Revolution first. I know I'm missing a lot of other games like Oh No!, Christmas, and Wild World, but I think I'll hold off on those until I rewrite the older, sloppier pages.

11/10 - The Boomstick Connection
Brace yourself for some Terrible Crossover Fanfiction in MOREC.

I'm also going to hold off on the Quickies and post the September, October, and November ones in December. I recently got a part-time temp job which has taken a bite out of my free time. But maybe once I get used to it it'll also help me differenciate work from pleasure and get back into a rhythm of rationing my day instead of slacking off everything because I have all the time in the world to do it. Still, I'd like to focus my time and energy on the other thing I've got planned, which I'm aiming to get up on a specific day.

10/23 - Then the Helmet Would Fly Off and Brain the Bionic Commando
Today I look at the comments section of Cracked in a brief Cracked Comment Adventure. I also added Perfect Lemmings to the Links. It's a Japanese site, but they linked to me, so it's only fair I return the favor.

Yeah, that probably wasn't worth a month long wait, but I'm steadily working on a few things and have at least two big updates coming in November (the September and October quickies obviously, and a desperately needed overhaul to one of the sections), but hope to be able to put up a third.

09/23 - Disco Robot Simon Belmont, or Surfer Dude Alucard?
My final Cracked article for the moment: 7 Video Game Easter Eggs Designed to Screw With Your Head. That's the last in the pipeline, though I've got another one bouncing around the workshop. But don't expect it anytime soon and I'm willing to take my time on it, because on this one about batshit Easter eggs I made some spectacular boo-boos in the draft I sent in. There were typos I noticed after turning it in, I completely forgot to put links to many of the videos I got the pictures from in the text (Here's the Silent Hill 2 dog video, and here's the Perfect Dark cheese wedges. The video demonstrating the Cluckshot is here. The Saints Row Bunny videos can be found here and here), and I left an entire sentence out somewhere (although the editor completely rewrote that paragraph anyway). I took that as a sign to take a break, and maybe do some work around here. There's a video project I've been sitting on for a while, and I've had an idea on a running theme in the book reviews for a while, and figured it's about time I actually get to work on them.

I've added a list for Wario: Master of Disguise in the Music downloads, though there's only one (very kickass) song. I also added some buttons to the top of the page to email me and the Q&A to make them a little more accessible, and figured it was about time to set out a tip jar for donations.

09/11 - Dagget's Asking About His Own Voice Actor, Okay?
And, my second Cracked article is up: The 7 Most Horrifying Moments From Children's Video Games.

By the way, on the previous one, the line "The game's use of a female protagonist would be slightly more progressive if it had, y'know, made any difference at all." seems to have a lot of people in a tizzy at me. I should clarify right now that I didn't write that - it was added by an editor. In fact, I didn't write any of the image captions, with the possible exception of "It's basically that scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ... IN SPACE." which was a modified version of a joke I made in the main text of the draft I submitted. Of course, I also didn't write "If Inafune had had his way, M. Bison could have been defeated only by a well placed Ha-Do-Inafune from Ryu." so maybe I should stop talking.

In any case, July and August quickies are up. So wait, all I did in July was read a six-volume manga series I started late in June, and watch two movies? Well, I also poured a lot of that month into a meaty game I didn't actually finish until August, but I was also in a house with no air conditioning during that heat wave we had, and couldn't work up the energy to do much more than lie around.

And hey, more fun from WaterMelon. I recently got a newsletter from them announcing their intentions to develop a Super Nintendo game. Gee, I thought they were a 16-bit factory and wouldn't develop for "8-bitters in disguise".

08/31 - Cracked Up
For those of you coming here as part of their daily thing, I got an article published on Cracked: The 6 Craziest Ways Creators Hid Themselves in Video Games. I went ahead and added a link to my Cracked profile in the File Cabinet. As a teaser, my second article is in the pipeline so expect that in a few weeks (unless, I dunno, they hold it off for closer to Halloween considering the nature of the article) and I just submitted my third.

And as a present to site readers old and new, there's some music for Jamestown in the Music section. July and August quickies will come soon.

07/25 - Summer Cleaning
Well, the Steam sale was a disappointment. I guess after people abused the Winter sale, they dropped that achievments for prizes thing from last year, which was what made the last couple sales so awesome. Still, I snagged Ys Origin for $8, so it wasn't a complete dud.

Meanwhile, I've been doing some tidying up around the site. I altered the layout of the main page a bit, revised or removed some clumsily written crap that had been sitting around since I first launched the site years ago, and finally got around to updating the more poorly drawn section links on the main page. If anybody's wondering why Honen Calzoun is screaming at Jay Resop, it's for letting his site get desecrated by a couple of twats.

While doing the new Comics Corner image, I discovered pretty much the final nail in the coffin of my sprite comicing career - during all the computer changes and OS reinstalls, I appear to have lost my sprite collection. The Comics Corner image was thrown together with what I found in old MS Paint work files and comics, including that bizarre panicing Robotnik. There were... some other... interesting things in those old work stations. Such as...

...whatever the fuck this is.

Seriously, I have no idea what I intended to use that for. Was it from an alternate version of Adventures of Lemmy I thankfully ditched, was I just screwing around, or was I leaving secrets on my harddrive to baffle and/or creep out my future self?

I edited the comic intros in the Comics Corner and tidied up Mario Busters, of all things. The way I had the images stored was a colossal mess, so I reorganized it, and edited the chapter pages slightly, namely putting in the freaking option to go to the next chapter from each one instead of making you go back to the main page and selecting the next one (an interface made even more cumbersome by Jay's comics still linking to when my site was on SMBHQ). Also, I noticed Mario Busters is no longer listed on the NC comics page, for some reason. Fortunately the chapters Jay did still existed, so I downloaded them, converted them to my template, and uploaded them to my own server since NC is basically dead anyway. If Jay has a problem with this he's free to email me. And this is petty, but I was just way too creeped out by the old pupil-less CK, so I went and fixed that in both my and Jay's comics.

I also dumped the three Single Chapter comics because they were shit. And what the hell, I used to spell the Comics Corner with an X? Man, have I come a long way...

I then did a little polishing on Suito Homu. Most of the commentary still held up, but some of it was a little wonky and other lines made me cringe, particularly in the early chapters while I was still getting into the swing of it.

I was also planning to make the Bestiary main page a little less crap, but couldn't because of some in-text ads I'd agreed to host for a year. So that's going to have to wait until those ads expire.

For some actual material, here's Bizarre Search Queries Volume 4.

On a random note, last week I got a WaterMelon newsletter informing me about their upcoming projects. Shit, I thought they would have removed me from their mailing list after the stink I raised (and actually thought they did when months passed since the last one).

UPDATE UPDATE 7/26: Well, I found an easy fix to making the Bestiary less terrible until I can completely overhaul it: remove the flowery header images.

07/05 - Angry Because the Steam Summer Sale Still Hasn't Started
May and June quickies. I guess to make up for only watching maybe five movies last year, 2012 has been the year of the movie for me.

Also, a couple more changes to this MOREC. See, on the list of female villains, I got Seere and Manah mixed up - Seere's is Manah's brother. Also, the alien queen from Ecco the Dolphin is apparently called the Vortex Queen, and has been changed accordingly.

06/06 - And A Belated Apology For the Phrase "Furious Mass Eargy"
Remember that rant about Pier Solar I wrote back in March? Three months ago today in fact? Well, I found something amazing in my Inbox about a week ago. I'll just let you read about it in WaterMelon Blasting Again (STOP GROANING).

Yeah, I guess that got a little mean towards the end, but damn, I had to vent my frustrations with that game. So to bring a little more cheer to the site here's my first File Cabinet writeup in over a year, Video Game Box Art I Actually Like. The list is by no means final. I just gathered enough images to have something to start with, and will add more as I go along.

If you actually read these little entries about my life, you might recall me complaining about the state of my ability to get pictures a while back. Basically, the computer with a capture card I used for most of the captured pictures on this site finally died one day. It was AGP, my new computer was PCI, so I bought a new capture card for the new computer. The only software I could get to run in real time... basically, the pictures I got from it were blurry and just looked like shit. Well, one day, recalling some PCI Device error messages the old computer, I got the idea that AGP might have only applied to the graphics card, and ripped the old capture card out of the old computer to see if it would go into the new one. IT WORKED. IT. FUCKING. WORKED. I once again have the old WinTV software, meaning I can take nice looking shots again.

I've got March and April quickies. I also went back and replaced some blurryass eyesore shots from January and December 2011.

And over in MOREC, Bizarre Search Queries Vol. 3. There were jokes that would have been screwed up if I'd moved them around, so I just threw them up chronologically on one list.

04/28 - How Time Flies
Over in Game Music I added four more songs to Cthulhu Saves the World, and made a section for Plants vs. Zombies with two songs. I also added links to the top of that page to take you right to the game listings, and added links to more spots for game music.

I also added GameWTFs to the links, and took White Rabbit Press off. In the past few months, I've become seriously unhappy with them. I swear, every time I've used their Express service since the earthquake disaster, they've added more fees to it ($4 for each additional package they have to consolidate? What the fuck? Like I have any control over how many boxes Amazon decides to ship my stuff in), to the point that the shipping/service fee for my most recent order was more than the items themselves. If you're ordering books and CDs, it's cheaper just to import directly through Amazon. It was awesome at first, getting things like Meta Fight EX and the 4th and 5th Sunsoft Memorials through them, and maybe it's a combination of those memories and it still being cheaper than the likes of Play-Asia for games (getting Captain Rainbow through WRE did not cost me $70) that explains why I still use them periodically, but I just don't feel comfortable plugging that place on my Links anymore.

Finally, I randomly added a note about the "Shadow Queen" to Site Tracking Adventures 1.

03/06 - Blasted Process
Alrighty then, got several things for you today. First up, January and Februrary 2012 quickies. Yes, they're freaking long.

Second, I edited some of the descriptions for the TG-CD Shadow of the Beast songs in Game Music after replaying the game and noticed some of the music was used differently from the Amiga version.

Third, some grumpy WaterMelon Blasting in MOREC. No, it's not about shooting fruit with a tank.

And finally, just to be less of a sourpuss, I've added Ask Dr. Robotnik to the links.

02/27 - A Little Cheese With Your Whine
Remember when I said I wouldn't keep you up to date on that lamer unless he sent me something hilarious? Well, he sent me something hilarious.

02/20 - Stop the Madness
I decided I'm going to post both the January and Februrary quickies at the beginning of March. In fact, I'm thinking of making the quickies bimonthly, although I'll still put each month on its own page. That's because I feel the reason I only did quickies last year was because of the quickies themselves, and the pressure to get them out on time, plus the feeling of "Eh, I already updated this month" caused me to slack off everything else.

Today I've compiled a second volume of bizarre search queries in MOREC. This time around I grouped searches about a subject I get frequently together, instead of posting certain dates I got a lot of strange material. Yeah, I got a ton of Daniel X searches, but he doesn't get his own heading because fuck him.

02/14 - Lovey Dovey
For Valentine's Day I'm giving you 2011 in Review. January 2012 quickies shouldn't be too far off.

02/01 - Do We Turn Into Assholes Or Something?
We finally got December Quickies. You might notice on this one I started posting images for books. That's because I found they get lost in the lineup without a picture to flag them. I'll have a year in review thing for 2011 later. When I get the January Quickies up, you'll probably see what I was doing instead of writing this stuff.

01/14 - Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh Wgah'nagl Fhtagn
I threw up some music to Cthulhu Saves the World in the Music section, and also added some bouncing Skitties to my favorite songs. I've also added a question on advertising on to the Q&A.

01/05 - Join the Club
December Quickies'll have to wait. Today I've got Site Tracking Adventures in MOREC, proving that if you're an idiot, you don't need to send me retarded emails to catch my attention.

2011 Updates

12/18 - Chilly Willy
November Quickies.

Also, a few days after I posted More Super Smash Bros. Bawling, Thanksgiving morning to be exact, I found another intelligent, thought-provoking rebuttal from Mr. Jindra. Since it wasn't exactly breaking news I didn't feel it necessary to post it right away, so I held it off until I had something with a little more meat to go with it. The new message is at the bottom of More Super Smash Bros. Bawling. And if anyone's worrying that I'm going to keep you up to date on all my adventures with an Internet lamer, don't. I wasn't even going to post this one, but the Donkey Kong 64 thing was just too good to pass up. Unless he sends me something equally hilarious, this'll be it. Actually, there might be a completely new lamer highlight just around the corner, if I can't think of anything better to write about.

11/20 - I'll Feed the Troll If I Want To; It's Funny
In this inspiration drought I've been going through lately, I'm more than open to site content that writes itself. Today we have a response that took the sender almost three years to make in More Super Smash Bros. Bawling.

11/15 - Well, Halloween Wasn't THAT Long Ago, Right?
October Quickies. Incidentally, we got satellite Internet installed up here, so I do have steady Internet now. Also, here's the pumpkin I carved for Halloween:

Gold star if you know what it's from!

10/05 - Phinal Phantasy
September Quickies. One of the games on there reminded me that I really needed to remove that question about why I hated Earthbound in the Q&A since it was pretty damned irrelevent (mainly because, although it still isn't a personal favorite, I don't really hate Earthbound anymore). I edited and removed some other questions.

Also, this means I got here safely (way back on the 18th of last month, actually) and haven't been eaten by a bear so far. I've also gotten word back from home that the cat with the face tumor finally died towards the end of last month. I knew when I left it was going to be the last time I saw him.

9/15 - Hit the Road
I'm heading out on a trip today. I'm going to be spending a few months at a place out in the country with no Internet, so to get online I have to take the laptop into town to a place with WiFi. If this is the last update, either I can't get online, or I died on the road. Cheers!

9/02 - Mediocrity Ahoy!
July and August quickies. You might notice I got an awful lot done in August (including the actual quickies), even if most of it wasn't very good. This was a combination of wanting to clear out some Steam games I'd had installed for ages but never did anything with, noticing I had deadlines on Club Nintendo surveys due in November and not wanting to phone them in, and trying to keep myself occupied so I wasn't constantly worrying myself sick over the cat with the face tumor.

8/08 - Kitty Woes
June Quickies. I also changed the Final Fantasy 8 screenshot on the May ones, after considering the muddiness of the shot was being caused by Irvine's Limit Break darkening the image. I'm really sorry about how late this is. I've been having cat-related problems.

The first is that two months ago, a mole our oldest cat has had on his chin since as long as we can remember vanished, and the area around it started swelling up. Then it finally popped, leaving a pus-filled hole. The first vet we went to diagnosed it as a severe case of feline acne and prescribed some antibiotics. 90 days and three bottles of Amoxocillin and two bottles of ointment later, it's barely made a dent in it, so the vet sent us to another one to get a biopsy on it. The real problem comes from the fact the cat is sixteen years old and has a heart murmur, making any kind of surgery risky. We got a biopsy which involved drawing cells out of the lump with a needle, which is cheaper than a punch biopsy and doesn't require anesthesia, but isn't as accurate. When they called with the results, it looked like either a cyst or a benign tumor.

We had a dog years ago who needed surgery to remove a some kind of tumor (I don't think it was cancerous, maybe a fat tumor or something), but the vet failed to inform us the dog had an enlarged heart and died literally the night we brought him back from surgery. And last year I had a cat we adopted the same year as this one put to sleep because he couldn't pee and he needed surgery he couldn't get because of heart problems (I think part of his heart was fused to his chest cavity or something?), but at least that vet told us about that and his failing kidneys. Plus, this cat technically belongs to my brother, although he does fuck-all to take care of the cat, which I guess is better because when he has paid attention to the cat he's nearly killed it twice (it's like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer had a fight with Grandpa and started over-fathering the kids, and it was even creepier than when he was half ignoring them) and has lately been in the cat's face all the time and getting on my ass for putting him in my room to give him some time to himself. All said, the cat himself acts perfectly fine. But his chin is all swollen up, and he's still got friggin' hole in his face.

The other, lesser but still troublesome scenario is that about a month ago a red and white stray started hanging around the front yard. We fed and watered it for a while, then my father and I finally took it to the vet. He was microchipped so they gave us his owner's address - literally three houses from us. Turns out his owner moved out and dumped him on the street (and the house they were living in was a rental, and some people who work for the owners said she left the place a dump when she left), and it's kitten season, so we couldn't take him to any of the local cat shelters. So he's currently in my dad's room. He's a sweet cat, but he has a fit when he sees one of the other cats. I guess I can't blame him, because both his ears are slightly knicked and his third eyelid in one eye has a small tear in it, so he obviously got into a scuff some time back. He seems to be gradually adapting to the house and other cats, but he's not there yet.

Combined with some family drama involving one of my half-brothers going off the deep end, I've just been constantly mentally exhausted (I couldn't even be arsed to hook up my Gamecube and get my own screenshot of FF6 Advance). I have at least one full article started, but haven't had the motivation to really work on it.

6/20 - As If E3 2011 Didn't Kill Enough of My Faith in Gaming
May Quickies. I minor note on a screenshot in this one. Between my 2010 article and this quickie, my computer with the capture card I've been using to get screenshots all these years finally gave up the ghost. This is the first time I've had to use my new capture card, the new software is a pain in the butt and the old software has a delay on this computer, and maybe I'm the only person who notices or cares but the resulting screenshot for Final Fantasy 8 is a blurry eyesore. I'm sorry. Maybe once I get this thing figured out I'll get a clearer screenshot.

I'd also like to take this moment to answer some questions I keep finding in my search query report, with rather depressing frequency:

How to beat Groeder in Bionic Commando 2009: Here's what I think is going on with this guy - he only becomes vulnerable when you dodge his attack, but since you auto-heal in this game and he pisses around long enough for you to heal between his attacks, the people who have to ask how to beat him aren't bothing to get out of his way, so he never becomes vulnerable and the fight becomes a stalemate.

How to beat Super Joe in Bionic Commando 2009: This one, however, I don't have a clue what everyone's problem is because the game kills him for you. So either these people REALLY suck at video games or they're referring to the Vulture Army. In the case of the latter, it's a freakin' quick-time event. Push the buttons that appear on the screen!

How to get out of the tank in Blaster Master 2: Hold Down and press the special weapon button (C by default). This is also how you get back in while standing between SOPHIA's wheels, for that one guy who asked, and is why you should never exit at the top of a ladder, because Jason will start climbing down when you go to get back in (if you do find yourself in this situation, there's some trick to get back in, but offhand I don't remember what. And the bottom of a ladder is no problem).

Really, it's only a matter of time before I start getting search queries calling the final bosses of Killer7 and Fable 2 impossible (hint: one just stands there waiting for you to shoot him in the face, the other stands there waiting for you to shoot him in the face and if you wait long enough somebody else shoots him for you).

5/25 - Freedom
April Quickies are up.

I finally graduated from college a couple weeks ago. A year late thanks to some terrible academic advice. I know I make this promise every year, but I should be able to get more work done around here. I haven't even started on Bionic Commando Rearmed 2 or Hard Corps Uprising, so there's two things I have on my To Do list.

4/24 - A Quick Visit From the Easter Bunny
Happy Easter. March Quickies are up. Quite a bit more this month from February.

4/2 - No Joke
In More Blaster Master Odds and Ends I took out the link to that Flying Omelette topic about the unused Blaster Master stuff, and added a note about Skelevenom's face and one more "Stupid Pointless Question." The Unsused Blaster Master Stuff now has its own MOREC. I'll see if I can get pictures of the Engine upgrade and bum rushing enemies in Enemy Below when I have the motivation.

Now, to belatedly celebrate April Fool's Day, here's a couple things I wish were jokes:

Remember when I expressed my concern about how anyone could stomach Tetsuo's mutation in a live action Akira? Well, that's the least of my concerns now (although I was less annoyed by the gaping mouths than I was at how it was nearly impossible to tell half the cast apart from each other).

Also, what the fuck? It's been that way since at least mid-March which is when I first noticed, but it was actually normal yesterday... and today it's back to this! This is like Bizarro Superman's idea of an April Fool's joke.

3/12 - Asleep at the Wheel
February Quickies are up. It wasn't a productive month for me.

I also added some things to More Blaster Master Odds and Ends; two more Stupidity points, a note on the frog boss's name, and an observation on Jason and Roddy's armor. I'm really impressed with how much time I'm spending on a game that not many people outside of Blaster Master's fanbase cared about even when it was released, and actually kind of bugs me.

Also, is defunct, so I removed the code.

2/14 - This Concept of 'Wuv' Confuses and Infuriates Us!
Here's January of the new month-by-month Review Quickie setup.

2/5 - Frostbite
So how about that blizzard that's sweeping the nation, huh? I got off school Tuesday and Wednesday because of it. Then on Thursday I had to go paint an ice cave in a butt-freezing cold studio. Fun times!

I meant to get the new month-by-month Review Quickies setup launched, but the computer with the good capture card seems to have given up the ghost. I can easily use an emulator for the picture I need, but I'm also behind on writing some of the reviews anyway. So, here's More Blaster Master Odds and Ends. There's an observation I wanted to make concerning adult Jason, but I left it out for time and because I'm too lazy to do a little scanning. When I get around to scanning the pictures I'll throw it under Miscellany, along with scans of the boss pages from that Meta Fight guide so somebody who knows Japanese better than I can double check the names.

Also, some Links:

Aqua Bunny - It's baaaaack!

Blaster Master Underground - I didn't even realize I didn't have a link to this place until a short while ago. I guess the site went down or CT moved it while I was doing a dead link cleanup some time ago.

White Rabbit Press - A great place for Japanese books and study materials, and importers will love their White Rabbit Express service.

UPDATE UPDATE 2/11: Hooray for dyslexia and how much the katakana "sa" looks like a hiragana "se"! On a whim I looked at the Meta Fight guide again, and the 2nd boss isn't "Gizeera" it's "Gizaara". That doesn't bring me any closer to figuring out what it's supposed to be, though.

1/3 - Happy New Year!
To celebrate the passing of 2010 and to make up for not doing any Review Quickies the whole year, here's 2010 in Retrospect. Basically, it's Review Quickies for everything I completed that year, only with pictures, although there's no images for the books I read because it would all just be the book covers, which would be dull.

I've also added a Miscellany category to the File Cabinet.

2010 Updates

12/21 - Hey, Remember This Crap?
For the first time in, like, two years I've updated the Bestiary, and quite a bit:

- New pictures for Galamara, the Chimera, the Griffin, and the Erinshill. Also, new profiles for the first three.

- The "Ornith" is now the "Ronith" and "Merugid" has been renamed "Meragidd" and both have some new pictures. The ronith also has a completely new profile.

- I've added entries for the Manticore and Maaza.

- All the Supernaturals have had their profiles altered, because I decided there's only one set of gods, and none of them are evil, just neutral. Consequently, I took down Agatha and Clauss until I figure out what to do with them. They're probably going to be revised into "Salamander" and "Basilisk (2)". Aside from Meragidd who I already mentioned, Kinkane is the only one with new material.

- I've replaced a number of the images on the main page with new, color versions.

Meant to make a new CK title card for the section, but didn't get around to it. Also, I put cell borders around the section images and put the File Cabinet at the top.

12/12 - Back into the Cold, Of Course
A Blaster Master Odds and Ends in MOREC which includes, among other things, quite possibly the fan-girliest thing I've ever written. But seriously, this should be the last Blaster Master thing I put up for now.

I'm also working on redrawing some of the Codiekitty title images around the site, because a lot of the older ones are really freaking terrible. This time around it's Lemmings Forever on the main page, and the Books in the File Cabinet. I also rearranged the order of the main sections slightly because I haven't done anything with the Comics Corner in ages and didn't feel it should be at the top anymore (MOREC comes first because the cabinet being cut off means the File Cabinet image doesn't look right unless there's something above it).

Also, on the I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead page I neglected to mention anywhere that it was a school project (I only mentioned that here on the main page, and most people probably aren't checking the Log), so I added something in there about that.

UPDATE UPDATE 12/15: Hoo boy, that MOREC was full of typos. I've worked on that.

11/30 - Still Blasting
And now back to my cynical self to discuss some Blasting Again Stupidity. This actually started out as a MOREC, but got so long and in-depth that I decided to put in some screenshots and throw it into the File Cabinet.

11/21 - I'm On a Roll!
Today I deviate from my usual "I hate everything!" attitude and offer up Ten Things I Like About Blaster Master 2.

11/13 - 1s and 0s Everywhere! And I Thought I Saw a 2!
I decided to take down the pre-review Overdrive MOREC altogether, and put up another MOREC on Overdrive Review Scraps. Basically, it's some additional stuff that, for one reason or another, didn't make it into the main review.

11/06 - Boy, Is My Face Red
Guess I kind of jumped the gun on that Blaster Master Overdrive MOREC, because the day after I posted it I went and restarted the game, and actually beat it, and Wii video capture isn't half as bad as I thought it would be, especially since Overdrive doesn't use motion control. Here's a full review, and the MOREC has had a note added to it relating to this.

UPDATE UPDATE 11/07 - Two notable changes to the Overdrive review, aside from some general tinkering with the text; First, when I drew Jason for that image at the bottom, I did it from memory and got his hair all wrong. I went back and redrew it after actually looking at a picture of him, although I left the bangs on him out of personal choice. Secondly, I wasn't sure if anyone was going to figure out why I was liking to some Futurama thing about a Were-Car for the "send out the anti-virus" thing, so I changed that link with the relevent sound clip from that episode.

10/28 - What I've Been Up To
Today starts a series of updates in which I pass off my school work as site updates, so here's something I made for my electronic arts class, I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead (Or When One of Us Is, Anyway) (possible spoiler warning).

I also figured it was about time I acknowledged the existence of Blaster Master Overdrive around here, so here's a MOREC about it.

9/17 - Party at the Leper Colony
The past month has been really busy for me. In a weak attempt at an update, here's a MOREC I hastily threw together on some Bizarre Search Queries I've gotten in the past few months.

8/17 - Kaboom
My computer crashed several days ago and took everything I'd been working on with it. Since then I've been trying to get drivers and programs and other stuff reinstalled, and the last time I'd made a backup of my site was when I transferred from the computer whose video kept going out.

I updated the link at the end of Daniel X review. Some joker went onto Wikipedia and removed that bit where Patterson said he wanted to be "the thrillingest thriller writer" so I had find another place that quoted that (which wasn't hard). And I noticed on the File Cabinet index the "Game Characters I Liked in 2004" link was misplaced. I'm still trying to figure out how it got between the Nightshade Insanity and Review Quickies, but I don't know.

7/13 - Updates Sink to a New Low
I did a guest comic over at The Blasphemer's Bible. Check it out!

Also, some Odds and Ends in MOREC. If MOREC is for stuff that didn't quite deserve full File Cabinet entries, this is a bunch of stuff that didn't quite deserve full MORECs, or bits I cut out of File Cabinet entries and other MORECS, or whatever other scraps I wanted to throw in there.

6/27 - Fukura
New File Cabinet entry, a review of the Nathan Spencer action figure. Also, an Aki-rant in MOREC.

And now another "knock it off" to somebody who can't figure out how to work a search engine, this time to whoever over the past few days has been repeatedly searching things like...

ultra force might

ultraforce might

ultraforce might?

how do i order some ultra force might

buy ultra force might

And some days alone I had seven friggin' hits from those first two. Sometimes I think searches like this come from people who have seen my site, then do stuff like this just to piss me off. If not, look, if you didn't find what you were looking for at my site the first time, searching "ultraforce might" another ten times isn't going to make it magically appear. Although the one with the question mark did crack me up, like this person wasn't sure about the search, or thought thought Google would give better results if he asked nicely.

6/10 - Requiem for a Beast
I threw up some more songs for the Amiga version of Shadow of the Beast, took down the shortened versions of the TG-CD songs because I didn't have them for all the TG-CD songs and couldn't be assed to ammend that, and added songs from the other two Beast games in the Game Music. A while back somebody put the soundtrack to all three games up on eBay. I didn't win the auction, but snagged his picture of the track listing on the back of the case and use that to get the real names of the songs, except I left "Intro" as "Shadow of the Beast". Granted, I don't have the disc to play and match up with the names, but with one exception it was pretty obvious - I couldn't figure out whether "Requiem for a Beast" or "Underwater" was the name of the jetpack area in Beast 1. By the way, I've gotten some search strings in my site stats from people searching for the Genesis SotB's soundtrack. I'm not putting up any music for that version - it's awful.

I also took down my Final Fantasy 4 songs because there's a hundred other, better places you can get those songs and more.

5/29 - Anger
A very hastily spewed out Gen 5 Pokerant in MOREC.

I've finally updated my Game Collection with my Atari stuff and whatever else I felt like adding.

And finally, a word to whoever keeps searching and different variations thereof: I don't know what you're looking for, but repeatedly coming to my site through that search string and changing it slightly isn't going to make it magically appear. Knock it off already.

5/15 - Over The Hill and Through the Woods
Ugh, sorry. Not only was it the end of the semester, but my computer finally started going. I'd be working when bam, the video went out. Apparently the computer itself was still working because any sound I had kept going, but whatever. So, I had to transfer some information and parts from old computers to another one we'd had sitting around. But school's out for the summer and I've got the new computer up and running. Although I need to sort out how to get screenshots, but hey, it's PCI so I can actually upgrade the video card for PC games I need a more powerful system for and can't get for consoles (Anyone who wants to tell me PC is always the superior way to play can go to hell).

Today I'm working on clearing out my gaming backlog with Review Quickies for games from last year: Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, Exile, Super Paper Mario, Banjo-Tooie, Plants vs. Zombies, and Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters.

I've also added some music from the TG-CD and DS versions of Ys to the Music Downloads, and one Wild 9 song. I intend to get more Ys music up, but there's a lot of it. Man, I have got to get that section reorganized.

4/11 - Be Afraid
New MOREC: Five Top Fives, Pt. 2. I've also added IncognitO to the Links.

3/31 - Glowing People and Their Garbage
In my first real book review, I explain why Daniel X is Terrible.

Also, a new MOREC where I Criticise a Twilight Criticism. I decided to keep MOREC seperate from the File Cabinet not just because I love the name and title card, but the original purpose of that section was "Stuff that doesn't quite deserve a File Cabinet entry" and throwing those articles into the File Cabinet would kind of defeat that purpose, no?

Oh, and Alph? Or Mr. Respo? You're not supposed to give cats tuna. My own Einstein nearly died when my brother fed him a can of tuna a day for about a month. Offer me something I might actually want and maybe I'll answer your pleas.

3/20 - Prime Crime
I've added a Toys section to the File Cabinet and put up an article on The Ultraforce Prime Figure. If you haven't guessed by the title I gave this update entry, it sucks. Sorry to spoil the article.

And in the Links page, I've added The Almighty Guru, and Greybob's Igloo now has a button. Push iiiiiit.

3/12 - Something For Those With a Particular Fetish
Today, in an article nobody asked for, I take a look at Dr. Robotnik: Animation's Sexiest Fat Man. I disgust myself sometimes.

I also slightly altered the new File Cabinet title image. It looked to me like Codiekitty was using the drawer of papers as a litter box, and somebody else said they didn't see that, but CK just sitting on a flat surface with a few scraps of paper on it, which was still a problem. So, I edited the image so she's sunk deeper into the papers.

2/27 - Axes and Arranges
MSTCK is gone. The articles have been put back in the File Cabinet, along with the Blaster Master, Prime, and Ultraverse comic articles from the Comics Corner. I'm half tempted to throw My Opinion Ruined Everyone's Christmas in there as well, but we'll see on that one.

I redrew the title image and I edited the layout of the File Cabinet yet again, this time breaking up the articles into categories based on their subject. More categories will be made as I need them, and I can see myself making sections for Music and Toys when I need them. Yeah I have that Shadow of the Colossus satire with He-Man stabbing my cat to death which would probably go under Toys, but I'll wait until I make another toy-related article that preferrably couldn't also be put under Video Games (I have one in mind, anyway). And the Review Quickies would probably go under some Miscellaneous section (or MOREC) since there's more than game reviews in there, but that can wait for a friend, too.

2/12 - Sandpaper
When I uploaded that Pip & Flinx Book Cover article, my computer was acting up. At random intervals, the screen would scramble into a checkerboard of the image it had and little flashing squares of color, and the computer would freeze. I was desperate to get the article uploaded in case my computer broke down completely and took all my hard work with it, so I hadn't even bothered to proof read it before uploading it and taking my computer to the shop. Well, the computer's back, and I've made some adjustments to the thing.

I also toyed around with the File Cabinet some more. I think I finally found a layout that works, although I took out the intro until I can write one that sounds introductory instead of snarky. Now I have to do the same with the Comics Corner and MSTCK.

And I changed the name of the Condemned review again.

And finally, Super Galvatron's Corner Shop is now Rage Quitter 87's Sites, and the link has been updated accordingly. I took down the link to Aqua Bunny because it's gone. I liked that site, too : (

1/29 - Self-Explanation
Happy so-very belated new year. Today a File Cabinet article on why The Modern Pip & Flinx Book Covers Suck. That was worth a month's wait, right?

I also redid the File Cabinet main page. I was a bit annoyed with all the images on the left of the article link being different sizes, so I went and made them all into same-sized bars and got some new pictures for each while I was at it. It looks a little more professional now!

I also changed the name of the Condemned article because what I originally called it made me want to find my past self and punch me in the face. I still couldn't find a great title for it, but the new one makes me hate myself less.

UPDATE UPDATE LATER THE SAME DAY: Tinkered with the File Cabinet page a little more, bumping up the link font one size. And holy crap, that Nightshade article was a mess. I reformatted it and took out or rewrote some embarassing sentences.

2009 Updates

12/25 - Christmas Cleanup
In the Lemmings music I made a few minor changes. First, it had been brought to my attention a long time ago while checking my site reports that the song I called "Take Good Care of My Lemmings" was actually Pachelbel's Canon. A really sped up, cut down, and altered Pachelbel's Canon, but I still went ahead and changed that. I was also informed the Win95 "Keep Your Hair On, Mr. Lemming" took you to the Cancan. I fixed that.

It also seems I scared my stalker away, but not before he (she?) left this gem in my reports: -needs more -cowbell

How about of using funky math to tell me my site doesn't need more negative-cowbell, you just tell me my site needs more cowbell?

UPDATE UPDATE 12/26: Flying Omelette just posted the PSX soundtrack, so instead of stealing her thunder by posting those on my own Lemmings music page I'll just have you steal her bandwidth by adding a link to her.

UPDATE UPDATE 12/27: More touchups to Lemmings FOREVER, this time the Tribe Test. I realized a while back when I updated the result pages I didn't even finish writing the page for the Space tribe, some other results pages were lacking, and there was an unfinished sentence on the test page itself. I worked on that some.

12/15 - We Don't Want Stalkers on the Lawn
More Book reviews: Equal Rites, A Wizard of Earthsea, Mort, For Love of Mother-Not, and Sourcery.

Also, could whoever keeps searching things like...

codiekitty is a boulder

codiekitty is a sexy beast

codiekitty is such a great boulder

codie kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope you had a happy b day codiekitty! :

... just email me if they want my attention already? And while they're at it explain what the hell it means to call somebody a boulder?

11/22 - Holy Crap
Review Quickies today, and it's... books? Well, that's a first. And those books are His Majesty's Dragon, The Color of Magic, The Light Fantastic, A Spell for Chameleon, and No One Noticed the Cat. I'd actually read Holes between Color of Magic and Light Fantastic, but when I went to write the review I'd found it hadn't left any impression on me one way or the other, so instead of struggling to write some kind of review I cut that one.

Also, in the 10/03/09 game quickies, I had somehow switched Agony and Prince of Persia in the review page. Not a big deal, but I had to update that page to put in the 11/22/09 link anyway so I put them back in the order all the links say they're in.

10/31 - Boo
Got some review quickies to clear out in the future, but for now get your iPods ready! Or don't, I don't care. I've got some music today:

Agony (4 songs)
Shadow of the Beast (7 songs)

UPDATE UPDATE 11/01: So last night after I made this update I found out Nero could read my TG-CD Shadow of the Beast disc like a music CD, and I could have dumped the soundtrack that way instead of recording it with AvRack while running the game through Magic Engine and using the Sound Test. I also found the songs are all five to six minutes long, if not even longer. Okay, I like this game's soundtrack, but even I don't want to listen to those songs that long. I threw them up anyway in case somebody out there does, but left the short versions up. I also added a few songs I dumped in the process but hadn't made short recordings of.

And for a few hours after I made this update, I failed to notice I had the extended version of the Savanna song linking to the short version. That's fixed.

10/03 - We Don't Want Zombies on the Lawn
Again, not dead, I've just been busy with school and pissing away more free time than I care to admit on Plants vs. Zombies. Today I'll clear out a backlog of Review Quickies. Today it's Fable 2, Banjo-Kazooie, Agony, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, Resident Evil 4, and Halo.

8/30 - Aftershock
In today's MOREC article, I discuss something I wanted to mention in the Bionic Commando 360 review, but left out because I wasn't sure how to smoothly fit it in and I felt there was already enough off-topic bitching about the plot, a look at Ladd Spencer: Organic Commando.

8/19 - Spitting on a Grave
So GRIN shut down a week ago, and I figured it was about time I got around to Bionic Commando: Raped, Pt. 2. Now if Team ICO would die too I'll have some of my faith in humanity restored.

Oh yeah, and I changed "Updated Stuff" to "Highlights" because I never seemed to change what was under there either out of lazniess on non-necessity, and also to have my favorite review I've ever written and, judging by my site tracker and linkers, my two most popular articles showcased on the front page.

8/01 - Chain Linking
I cleaned up the Links page. I added Greybob's Igloo, Super Galvatron's Corner Shop, and Scary Crayon, as well as descriptions for the links themselves. I also removed some sites that were either dead links, or didn't link to me and I didn't really care about anyway (and in mosts cases the only reason I linked to these sites in the first place was because they emailed me for an exchange only to take it back down. Screw you too, guys).

7/14 - List-ening
MOREC may have been meant for bile-spewing, but the heat is kept on low today with Five Top Five Lists. If you go to Flying Omelette's forum, these should look familiar, as they're taken straight from the Top 10 Lists topic with some changes.

Also, I just realized I was putting my 2009 updates under the 2008 updates. And when I moved the Smash Bros. Bawling article I forgot to go in and change the addresses. Woopsy daisy.

7/03 - Moaning Stones
New site section: My Opinion Ruined Everyone's Christmas. This section will be for nitpicking, sport-spoiling, flame baiting, ranting, venting, soapboxing, mud slinging, and basically whatever the hell all I feel like using that section for and isn't long enough or suitable for the file cabinet. My first article was the SSB: Brawl email (which I decided didn't need its own folder, so it's been moved). For my second article I'm going to go into why Banjo is a Dickhead.

6/10 - The Diamond in the Rough
Five turds and one gem in my review quickies for LocoRoco, LEGO Indiana Jones, Legend of Heroes: Tear of Vermillion, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, Mirror's Edge, and The Secret of Monkey Island..

Yes, I got a 2600. A while ago actually. I guess expect a Game Collection update before too long.

5/30 - Email Adventures
In this unexpected turn of events, I've taken a cue from Flying Omelette's RAU Gallery and decided to share with you all an email in a short article I like to call Super Smash Bros. Bawling.

Unless something else pops up (which I doubt. I waited a while to see if any more amusing emails would roll in in response to that review, but I guess not), I should have something more solid next time.

5/18 - Yaaaay
Now that school's finally out, maybe I'll finally have the free time to accomplish more on the computer than burning some TurboGrafx-CD games I wasn't paying $80-$300 a pop for. So let's start by clearing some of the backlog of Review Quickies: Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy, Shining Soul, Doom 2: Hell on Earth, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7, and PREY.

I also updated the link to Sweetbee's Game Hive.

4/12 - More Fun With the Hotlink Block
If you tried to access this site in the past week or so and got a "Forbidden" message, that was because I screwed up my hotlink block something fierce and somehow had it set to block .htm files. Thanks to Flying Omelette for pointing that out.

Still don't have a real update, but I'm working a couple things here and there.

2/28 - I'm Not Dead
Just having more frantic school fun. Not sure why, maybe it's taking two art studio classes, but I've been so much busier this semester, so updates might be scarce until I get out for the summer. I did some changes to the Lemming Tribe Test. First, I rewrote all twelve result pages. Secondly, I reworked some, but not all of the scores and responses. No new questions this time.

Okay folks, I guess this is why you should double check things BEFORE you upload them. Now the test isn't working for some reason. I'm trying to see what I did wrong, but I'm not sure if I can do it before they day is out. *sigh* Got it. The problem was a single missing plus sign in one of the answer tallies. And yes, I tested it this time.

1/16 - Sculpey
Wee, I got that new title banner I wanted! I had a second idea, but I guess there's always the random image code for that!

I've also got my first update to the Music Downloads since I first launched the new site back on Halloween 2006, was it? Unless you count that overhaul to the Lemmings Music Station I did a while back. Today I've got music for:

Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin (4)
CIMA: The Enemy (4)
Doom (9)
Elemental Gimmick Gear (1)
Elemental Master (6)
Tyrian (1)

In other news, I've rebought Earthbound. Found it at a local Play N Trade for $36. As I said at FO's forum, I've shaken hands and made up with this game. I still don't like it, but if Earthbound were a person I wouldn't mind sitting next to him in the lunch room if it was the only available seat, or if the alternatives were even worse. I'd be happy to chat with him, but he'd have to start the conversation.

UPDATE UPDATE 2/18: Gah, I mixed up the Earth and Wind stages in Elemental Master. That's been fixed.

1/08 - More Filler
A few things. I got a PSP, and I guess a Wii as well. Officially my mother got the Wii for the both of us since she wanted Wii Fit, but she hasn't used the thing at all since she got it on Christmas. I didn't actively want one, but since it's here I'm not ashamed to use it. Zack and Wiki's decent so far, but it does reinforce my preconceptions about the Wii by shoehorning pointless and often unresponsive motion controls into gameplay.

I updated my game collection accordingly, but hell if it's totally accurate. I've gotten so lazy about keeping it updated I don't know if I need to keep better track of it or just forget it completely. It doesn't help I've no idea how to categorize collections and compilations, digital downloads (Steam, Xbox Live Arcade), or some Sega CD and Saturn burns I ended up with because the guy in the eBay auction didn't make it clear the copy of Snatcher he was advertising wasn't an official one. From now on, I will only update when I get a new system. Even then, I will only update for that new system and any others with fairly small collections (say, less than a full screen on my monitor).

I've got such a backlog of actual material. I still need to finish that Ultraverse article, I have two movies I've wanted to write about for some time now and some songs to add to the music downloads, an idea for a new site section, and I've been meaning to redo the site banner for a while. The one I have now is badly drawn even by my standards. I think it's time to stop phoning it in and do some actual work on the place.

2008 Updates

12/25 - See How My Opinion Ruined Everyone's Christmas!
I have Review Quickies for Psychonauts, Azure Dreams GBC, Operation C, Illusion of Gaia, Fable: The Lost Chapters, and Super Mario Sunshine. I really need to get back into the habit of Forum Ramblings to jot my thoughts down, or writing the review soon after finishing the game.

You may notice I haven't updated my 360 Gamercard in a while. Part of it is because of what a pain it is to unhook my 360 from my room, drag it out all the way to the computer, and hook it up, then unhook and carry it again when I'm done. But mostly it's because of that new interface with the Mii knockoffs they came out with in November, and it sounds like it's mandatory if you connect to the Internet. Could somebody email me, and tell me if there's a way to turn that off if I decide I don't like it? Otherwise, something really awesome is going to have to come out for the Live Arcade before I connect to Xbox Live again.

What I originally thought I'd be updating with today fell through because I lost communication with somebody. If a Toby Zuijdveld is reading this, could you email me again? I tried to respond to you twice, but both times got got one of those Email Delivery Failed messages.

12/19 - FREEDOOOOM!!
Finals are finished, and I've got a month before the next semester. Let's see what I can get accomplished.

I have Review Quickies for Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, Kid Dracula, Doom, Braid, Donkey Kong '94, and Lufia 2: Rise of the Sinistrals, and I updated the link to Random Hoo-Haas.

I may have another, more satisfying update coming very soon.

11/23 - Keep On Truckin'
I'm sorry, since the beginning of the month I've been in the school season known as "All the teachers dumping their big projects on the students all at once." Two research papers, one research presentation for Japanese that had to be delivered IN Japanese, reading short stories from my entire Creative Writing class, having to spend a lot of my between class periods and whatever parts of my weekend weren't spent on the other things in the metal workshop trying to get my little cage together, bleh. I've barely had time to do anything recreational like gaming, much less any work on the site. Hang with me, folks.

In other news, I believe I have found the recipe for the WORST GAME EVER MADE.

10/31 - A Spooky Treat
This Halloween I've thrown together a report on how I've Been Condemned.

10/17 - Crap
Still not much. I did get Review Quickies for Super C, Portal, Painkiller, Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3, Wario: Master of Disguise, and Bioshock. Trying to get another full review article prepared.

9/26 - Taking a Backseat
A thought occured to me while I was trying to get Thief 2 to run on my computer - there was one additional step to getting System Shock 2 to work on XP I had forgotten about, about adding a line of code to one of the files. I've added that step to the Running the System Shocks on XP Guide.

I'm very sorry about the lack of updates lately. There's four people in the house right now, and while there's two computers everyone wants to use the same one, i.e. mine, especially my brother who's often on it all damn day, probably playing Thief or some other game if the rearrangement of a stack of games by the computer one day was a sign. And half the time I finally get the computer, somebody else kicks me off because their email is more important than my homework. When the other two people go back out of town I should have the computer for more than ten minutes at a time and be able to prepare something. Until then...

9/06 - I Guess It Was Still Better Than The Arcade Game
Instead of giving it a Quickie, I've written a full review for Bionic Commando: Rearmed, or as I prefer to call it, Bionic Commando: Raped.

UPDATE UPDATE 9/07 - From the BCR article:

"But trust me, if somebody ever releases a picture of the NES Ladd, I'll be on it like the family dog on an unattended plate of hamburger. Heck, I'll even settle for that image of him done in the BCR character portrait style I saw in some trailer."

Actually, no. No I wouldn't.

8/25 - Maybe You'll Thank Me Later
In lieu of some actual content, I've written a guide for getting the System Shocks to run on XP, partially to help others, and partially for myself if I ever change computers and have to go through getting them up and running again.

For those wondering what I thought of Bioshock but don't want to wait for me to bang out a Quickie, check my forum rambling.

8/20 - I Am The World's Greatest Condemned Player!
For the five of you reading, I arrived back yesterday. I didn't haven't had time to unpack, much less prepare much of an update for the site, so you'll have to settle for my 360 Gamercard. And in my haste to upload the Links update and run out the door I... erm... forgot to upload the little buttons for the three that needed them. So that's been taken care of.

While I was on vacation, I took a look at the p0rn Sigma article, thought it was a mess, and tidied it up from there.

Anyone out there playing Doom on Live Arcade and need somebody to get those two Achievements where you have to kill 50 and 100 enemies with somebody online? Drop me an email and let's see what we can work out.

PS - Before anyone feels the need to email me explaining how the ranks work, I am well aware I am sharing the #1 spot with everyone else who got all 970 points in Condemned.

7/03 - Bugger
Prototype's still not done.

I did, however, get Review Quickies for Gaiares, Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath, Equinox, Professor Layton and the Curious Village, God of War, and Sam and Max: Season One.

And I added links to Comics Curmudgeon, Random Hoo-Haas, XKCD, and Zero Punctuation, and finally got the button for the forum made.

I'm going out of town for a month tomorrow. I need this break. It was easy to update every ten days when I had a backlog of stuff to work with, but I'm starting to feel pressured to update on time, and this may be my problem with getting Prototype written. I need a break to relax and resupply.

6/18 - Hotlinking
When I launched the Forums, I disabled my hotlink block because it was being uncooperative when I added new sites to the allowed list. Well, I put it back after working out that bug, because it's already being abused.

I have a summer class, so my work on Prototype has been slow. Sorry, folks. Maybe when I get the next Ultraverse update up I'll do two books.

6/07 - Bah
The Ultraverse is getting a break because Prototype pulled a Power of Prime on me and concludes in a seperate miniseries I don't have, which I think I may skip and do a writeup on what I did read since it doesn't seem like anyone ever puts that miniseries up on eBay. So for now, it's a Game Collection update. My focus this time around was on making my PC collection a little more respectable (and I was hoping to have gotten the Orange Box in time for this update, considering I ordered the damn thing two weeks ago!), building up collections for the Xbox I got back at Easter and the 360 that's coming soon, and taking advantage of whatever diehard Sega fan unloaded his goods on a local used game shop.

5/24 - Hell Hath Frozen Over
Back in the Ultraverse, we visit Mantra.

But more importantly, now has a Yuku forum. I finally decided to start a forum because I wasn't getting the feedback I wanted/needed through email. I'm still working out some kinks (if anyone know anything about Yuku setup, I'd greatly appreciate your help in the Help topic in the Questions forum) but if you already have a Yuku account, come on in, and if you don't sign up.

And yes, "TaroSH" is me.

5/13 - No More Crack!
I've reworked the Comics Corner. First, I went through the random images and trashed four of them that I thought sucked and replaced them. The four I left may not be great, but at least they amuse me instead of piss me off. Then I moved the Blaster Master Comic and Prime Time there, the latter I'm hoping to have finally gotten the final draft for written, and added a new article: Return to the Ultraverse. I originally wanted to do one grand-spanking article (multi-paged, of course) with every Ultraverse book I care to read, but that's going to take a while since there's about eight total, and I really wanted to get the reworks to Prime Time and the Comics Corner uploaded. So for now it only contains Hardcase (as an aside, the very last sentence is supposed to link to Mantra, which I'm only halfway through right now).

4/28 - Back to Basics
After a break from it, I've got some more Bestiary stuff: Mutant Arachnae, Bioweapon Scurge Queen, Bioweapon Doppleganger, and Supernatural Hiboshi.

4/14 - Maxi-Man and the Heroes of the Universe
A couple updates ago I said I wasn't going to do an article on the Sega CD. Well, I'm not. I am, however, going to do one on something I probably never would have heard of had I never bought the thing: Ultraverse Prime. I could summarize my thoughts on it here, but then what would be the point of having some Prime Time? As a warning, this is probably my most vulgar piece yet, although I wouldn't call it too raunchy. I think I've been watching too much Yahtzee Croshaw.

Update Update: 4/19 - I tinkered with the Prime article a little, and I probably still will over the days (I was looking back over it, and I feel like the first half is too vague and needs to be fleshed out more). I've also updated the Q&A, revising the answers to the questions regarding when the site is updated and my email. A while ago I had added a question about adjusting existing pages, though I never mentioned it. I guess now's as good a time as any to bring it up.

4/02 - Yes, I AM the Bringer of Ruin
I finished the Street Fighter 2: Look and Find. Added to the Review Quickies is Gargoyle's Quest, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Neutopia 2, Rez, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations, and Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest.

3/16 - Woops
Okay, I got lazy with my site again. I don't have any real updates prepared, so I'm just updating the Collection for now. You'll notice I got a Sega CD (or at least games for as I have Xbox games, but I don't actually have an Xbox. But I have the Sega CD anyway). No, I'm not doing any kind of feature on it, because I don't have a whole lot to say about it

2/28 - It's a Sad Thing That Your Adventures Have Ended Here!
I decided what I'm going to do with the Street Fighter II: Look and Find is spend the next week or two finishing it, then upload the rest of it at once. I'm halfway through it, anyway.

For actual updates, I've added Elemental Gimmick Gear, Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars, Killer7, Contra 3: The Alien Wars, Miracle Warriors, and Shadowgate to the Review Quickies, and I've finally added added Next/Previous links to the bottom of each page.

For the Bestiary, I've decided I'll take a break from adding entires and work on updating old ones. So, I've added images to Native Ornith, Myth Chimera, Myth Draco, Bioweapon Erinshill, Bioweapon Scurge Queen, Supernatural Hiboshi.

2/01 - Guuuhhh...
So, school's back in session, and due to scheduling and travel arrangements I'm spending more time at campus than I was than last semeseter. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to work on the site, but I'll try to keep steady updates. It probably just won't be as much per update.

In the meantime, Guile has been added to the Street Fighter 2: Look and Find.

1/18 - Souryuken!
Blanka and Chun Li have been added to the Street Fighter 2: Look and Find.

Added to the Bestiary is Machine Charybdis.

1/05 - Wrapup
It's a two-for-one deal in the Bestiary! Bioweapon Scurge and Bioweapon Scurge Queen.

The Game Collection has been updated, and the new system is... the Sega Master System! Let's take a look at it!

Sorry, there's no update for the Street Fighter II Look and Find. I'll have two up next time.

2007 Updates

12/25 - Merry Christmas
Because it's Winter time, I added Supernatural Skol to the Bestiary, and Native Ornith though it has nothing to do with Winter. I also added an image each to Bioweapon Erinshill and Myth Griffin.

I've also started a new File Cabinet article: The Street Fighter 2: Look and Find! I'm going to upload this in parts so as not to make it too overwhelming, especially since I'll be working on another article for a game system I got for Christmas. I won't say what it is, but here's a hint: it's the only system known for having worse game cover arts than the TurboGrafx. There's something else I've been meaning to write about, but I'd have to rewatch the movie first.

I updated my links, adding links to Aqua Bunny and Rocket Worm, two really nifty fanart sites, and I'm not sure why I didn't have a link to I-Mockery but I added that too. I also removed VG Cats and Ctrl+Alt+Del. I should have done that a long time ago, namely when I realized VG Cats and CAD weren't funny. I also removed Rayman Ultimate because it doesn't exist anymore.

I'll update the Collection later, probably next update, but for now, I bought a couple of games (Over Horizon and Zelda Outlands) from NES Reproductions, and I was really impressed with this guy's work. So, if you're not into emulation and want carts of some unreleased games and ROM hacks that are serious attempts at making a new game instead of some kid thinking it's cute to put male genitalia on everything, I'd definitely recommend it. And if you actually want a cart of Dick Dug or Bastard Master for some reason, I guess you could ask him, but I do hope that he either refuses, or when you send the donor carts he sends you back a bobcat.

12/13 - Robots
For the Bestiary, it's Supernatural Clauss and Myth Griffin. Also added images to Supernatural Merugid and Supernatural Lyuset, and I fixed the clock's shadow on Bioweapon Erinshill.

And while I said that was all for the Review Quickies, I should have specified video games. I decided to do one on TV shows: Blackstar, Futurama, Family Guy, and Robot Chicken. Yeah, sorry, there's only four, but they're all a reasonable length.

Update Update 12/14: Oh man, I was looking through the Review Quickies, and realized how awkwardly the Kid Icarus review was written. I fixed that.

12/02 - Happy Birthday to Me
It's a Collection update! Not all of the new games were for my birthday. Many I just acquired "normally" but never updated into the Collection until now. I also removed the comic intro. I haven't been told I've only played Blaster Master and Lemmings in a long, long time, and the rest of it just felt pointless.

Added to the Bestiary is Supernatural Agatha and Bioweapon Erinshill, and added one more image to Mutant Galamara.

Added to the Review Quickies is Kirby's Dream Land, Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Bonk's Adventure, Scurge Hive, ChuChu Rocket, and Gate of Thunder.

Also, I made a mistake in the Contra: Hard Corps one from the previous update. I had actually only beaten both of the paths leading from the Research Lab and got full, so I set it aside for a while. It's not so much four routes, but four endgames. If you choose to go after Deadeye Joe at the end of Stage 1 you get a different Stage 2, but then 3 and 4 are the same. At the end of stage 4 is another fork, and 5 and 6 are different from the Research Lab endgames.

And that's all for the Review Quickies for now, because I've only beaten one more game (Elemental Gimmick Gear on the Dreamcast). So I'll have to beat five more games before I write another page. I might be able to squeeze in five games by the end of the month, but I'd like to avoid games like D and Bonk's Adventure that I can beat in an hour or three as much as I can. I'll probably do some kind of Award thing at the end of the year.

11/22 - Gobble Gobble
As a Thanksgiving treat to you all, when I removed the ads from Lemmings FOREVER I took the opportunity to put together a massive update to the Music Station with near-complete soundtracks for the SNES, Genesis, PC Engine, and Win 95 versions of the first Lemmings. I left off some songs I thought were so obnoxious I didn't think anybody would want them, like "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window" for every version and the Genesis version of Menace which sounds like a bunch of buzzing and random percussion. Some kind of bug me, like Twang in every version, but I figured what the hell. I also added an Oddity.

Also, I got an email from Dreamhost saying on the 30th the server my site is on is going to be down for about eight hours for maintainence. So, if you come here on the 30th and the site doesn't come up, don't worry.

Added to the Review Quickies is Mega Man 6, Okami, Albert Odyssey: Legend of Eldean, Psychosis, Neutopia, and Contra: Hard Corps.

Surprise! No Bestiary update, but I'll have one next time.

11/13 - Of Drakes, Ghosts, and Lawyers
New to the Bestiary is Myth Draco and Machine Scylla. I also found something that's simultaneously interesting and embarassing on my hard drive, my first draft of Mutant Galamara.

I removed the ads from Suito Homu and fixed some spelling errors.

Added to the Review Quickies is ICO, Contra, Final Fantasy 7, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All, D, and Monster Party.

11/05 - Holy Crap, Steady Updates
New to the Bestiary is Native Malroc, Native Piffin and Bioweapon Death Adder, and I added an image to Mutant Galamara and fixed the eye for Bioweapon Doppleganger.

Added to the Review Quickies is Metroid, Kid Icarus, Ys 3: Wanderers from Ys, Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal, Splash Lake, and Darkwing Duck. I also changed the "Meh" rating to "Eh". The expression "Meh" has started to bug me lately, and "Eh" better conveys indifference and mediocrity.

10/29 - We've Got Movie Siiiign!
Another new section: MSTCK. It's for movie-related stuff. I moved Suito Homu and Fifteen Questions About the Master of the Universe Movie there, but don't worry about updating your links because I left those two articles in the File Cabinet folder. Aren't I nice? And to commemorate what the name of the section is a take on, there's an article on my Ten Favorite MST3Ks.

I changed the name of "Ranting Reviews" to "Review Quickies" and added Ducktales 2, Plok, Legend of Zelda, Ys Book 1 & 2, Pokemon Diamond, and Rocket: Robot on Wheels.

I'm also in the process of removing the ads. They never had anything of relevence, sometimes they were disturbing like how the Suito Homu ads were always about Bankruptcy, and in the year I've had the new domain and those ads, I've earned a whopping six bucks.

10/12 - Heaven or Hell, Round One, LET'S ROCK
I changed the "Demon" section of the Bestiary to "Supernatural" and added Supernatural Lyuset. Also added is three more covers to the TurboGrafx Cover Art Bonanza and to the Ranting Reviews is River City Ransom, MDK2: Armageddon, Mega Man 5, Lufia and the Fortress of Doom, and Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando.

9/29 - Freaks!
I've started a new section called The Bestiary. It's a collection of critters, beasts, and monsters I've drawn over the past year or two. Some are doodles, other are more developed designs. There isn't much there right now, and some of the monster descriptions aren't even complete because I didn't want to overwhelm myself into never getting this done, and for the time being just wanted to find a layout that works. But unless I get lazy, that section should expand quickly (some of my class notebooks probably have more doodles than notes). I was holding off this update until I could get ahold of somebody who never showed up on AIM, but Jack Sheen yelled at me : (.

I also updated my Game Collection again, and added three covers to the TurboGrafx Cover Art Bonanza.

I haven't updated the capsule reviews in over a year because I was planning to just post one big page with every game I beat in 2007 on January 1st 2008. Don't ask what I was thinking or on. I've broken it up and I've started by posting Adventure, Mega Man 4, Drakengard, Dynowarz, Rockin' Kats, and Puss 'n Boots.

8/10 - Drinking Games
As well as another update to my Game Collection, I was emailed something interesting about Yamamura's song in Suito Homu Chapter 11.

And finally, I turned off hotlinking, because I was so very tired of finding my images plastered on the Internet, even on "professional" blogs, sapping my bandwidth and giving no credit whatsoever to me or my site. It's especially annoying with other websites which clearly have their own webspace and bandwidth for this.

6/20 - Ladies and Gentlemen...
The Twenty Most Overrated Games I've Played. Commence the flaming.

Also, I changed the site's background. I kind of like how it makes the site look like marble slabs in leaf litter. We'll see what I think about it in a week.

5/24 - Games and Covers Ahoy!
Probably the first "real" update since I moved the site back in October. A hefty update to my Game Collection - I've obtained more than 50 games since my last update. The highlight of my new entires is the TurboGrafx, specifically a TurboGrafx-CD, and I already own more games for it than the Dreamcast. To commemorate that, I'm taking a look at some of the more interesting game cover arts for the system. Maybe soon I'll finally get around to that Phantasy Star one I promised.

And I finally added the link to He-Man and the Colossus to the File Cabinet page.

I added a link to Crawl's Review Site. I'm not sure why I never linked him sooner, other than I'm really lazy about maintaining that page.

Something's coming folks, but I'm not sure when it'll be ready.

4/28 - Three More Months
No, I'm not dead folks. But I've got some things to announce.

One of our computers got infected with a Trojan. It wasn't the one I keep my website on, thank goodness, but it means two things:

A) The one I DO keep my website on is now in the house where I can easily and comfortably access it, so maybe I can actually get some work done now.

B) There is only one way I can think of that I got that virus, and it was through an email I opened with a subject about a link exchange, and the actual email only referred to me as "webmaster". This means that unless I personally know you, I WILL NOT open emails that don't have "" or "" in the subject, even if the subject sounds like it has some relevence to me. No exceptions. And really now, I've only got two email links on this site and both have "" in the auto subjects, and if somebody's typing the email address by hand and can't be bothered to type an extra six characters in the subject, I don't think I even want to read their email.

No actual updates today, but I've got a few things planned and in the works, but I haven't been able to put much time into them.

1/31 - Three Months
Hey folks. I'm sorry about the absence of updates. I've been kept from really doing anything because of weather, health, and motivation problems.

As some of you may know, the computer I update the site with is in a shack in our backyard. There's not much climate control or insulation, so in Winter the shack is really, really cold and in Summer it's really, really hot which explains why Winter and Summer have always been lite on updates. This year the weather's been nuts, what with rain and snow turning the backyard into an ice rink or a muddy bog, so I've had trouble even getting to the shack at times.

For health, since several months ago I've been having occasionaly breathing problems. Coughing fits with the sensation that I'm drowning (if this is asthma, it'd be strange to not have it as a kid then get it when I'm older). The last few times I was in the shack I started having this problem big time after less than an hour, perhaps caused by the dust and/or dampness of my surroundings.

Finally, I haven't had any ideas for this site. I've completed many games, but for the above reasons never got around to writting short reviews for them. I have plans for a future article, but it won't be ready for quite a while. In the mean time, enjoy the visit to the edges of my sanity with He-Man and the Colossus. There's no link on the File Cabinet main page because I haven't made a little picture for it yet. Yes, I'm sorry that's all you get after three months.

And I updated my Game Collection with birthday, Christmas, and misc additions.

Lastly, I noticed the Sweet Home ROM download was getting a lot of failures. I found out why that was and fixed it. It had to do with case sensitivity, and my computer not having it when I tried it from the files on my computer.

2006 Updates

10/31 - Overhauls
Trick or treat, folks! Welcome to the new site! You'll notice a few changes about it. First, the site's changed hosts. SMBHQ was a nice host, but I still felt limited by it. The site's also changed names to "". There were a few reasons for the name change, but the main one is the site's no longer soley about video games, much less soley about Nintendo. It's more about my overall interests, and having a .com named after yourself is generally a good way to name a site like that (plus, I couldn't come up with anything else >_>).

I've also made a layout change to the front page. Instead of the tacky looking sprites with a horizontal rule and the name of the section, I tried to make something a little more uniform and original. Okay, the images are rough, but it's the best I can do with the software I have, and I acutally kind of like the gritty feel to them. I'm eventually going to put images for the titles of the sections like what I've done for the Comics, except only Comics is going to be the way it is (I'll let you see what I mean by that), but for now I just thought I'd get the main page taken care of.

And yes, it's Lemmy Chapter 8! But before you get your hopes up, read the rest of this paragraph. You'll notice something is very different about it; about a third of it is text. After almost two years and no rekindling of my interest in sprite comicing, here's what I finally decided to do with: Set up all the frames I had made, then copy and paste my script where I had no frames for it. And as you read it, you'll realize my will to do this was killed by not just my losing heart in sprite comics, but the fact the story sucked and I had no idea where I was going with it. It's lazy, but there's just no way it would have gotten done otherwise. I deeply apologize for you all waiting so long for something that's complete crap. As for what I'll do in the future, maybe I'll just post some basic outline of where it was going.

So, to make it up to you all, I've done something I've always wanted to, but couldn't because somebody atSMBHQ or VGF would have screamed at me for the strain on storage space and bandwidth. I've created a Game Music page where you'll currently find music from Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow, PC Earthworm Jim, Final Fantasy 4, PC Garfield: Caught in the Act, Mega Man X 4 and 7, PS2 Shinobi, Wario Land 3, and Wild 9. More games and music to come.

While I was putting the ads in, I took a moment to fix some typos and rewrite some captions for the Suito Homu article.

I also made some updates to the Links page, which I changed a while ago but never announced. Removed and fixed some broken links I missed and added a link to Absolute Mario.

I also started keeping an Update Log. I already decided it was time to start one, but I especially didn't want to lose that thing about Steve Irwin.

Lastly, I updated my Game Collection. You'll notice I got a into kick of pumping up my Dreamcast collection.

9/07 - Rant, Rants, and Bitch
I've got not one, but two presents for my children. The first is that article I've been working on, Fifteen Questions About the Masters of the Universe Movie! The other is an update to the Ranting Reviews with Super Mario 64 DS, Skullmonkeys, Sigma Star Saga, New Super Mario Bros., and Vagrant Story. I also did some tinkering with Yoshi's Story in the previous page.

I also cleaned up the Links page, removing dead links, or sites that were just a complete and unbearable mess.

And now I have to blow off some steam about something. As you all know, on Monday, "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was killed when a stingray ran its barb through his heart. It shocked me and broke my heart, and I actually cried during Jay Leno's tribute to him on Tuesday. But the past few days I have seen people on message boards and blogs saying things like "DEATH TO STINGRAYS!" and "I bet Steve Irwin is in heaven beating up all the stringrays!" Spewing garbage like this only serves to show the world you have no idea who Steve Irwin was or what his work was about. It was not about getting an adrenaline rush by tempting fate with a cobra or crocodile, but teaching us to respect these dangerous creatures we'd slaughter otherwise. And if you'd ever actually seen an episode of Crocodile Hunter, you'd see how many times he got maimed and never once blamed the animal, and even chastised a staffer who got bitten by a venomous snake (which was luckily for him a dry bite). Oh yes, he's so happy knowing people are demonizing stingrays over this.

Another disturbing thought is the possibility of people saying he got what was coming to him after the Baby Bob incident. You may think I'm pulling that fear out of nowhere, and maybe to an extent I am, but I have honestly seen people say Brandon Lee getting killed on the set of The Crow was him making up for the comment about Lundgren's manhood in Showdown in Little Tokyo. Yes, it was questionable, but anyone who wants to say he deserved to die for it can burn in hell.

7/25 - The Horror!
A new entry to the file Cabinet: The Blaster Master Comic. This actually is not the entry I had planned for a while. I'm still working on that one. I just found these comics on my hard drive and had to write about them.

I'm wondering what to do with Lemmy. Six months ago I really had it going with Chapter 8, but due to complications with a "fan" who wouldn't leave me alone about it and badgering me about announcing who the cellmate was BLOWING THE ENTIRE SURPRISE my interest croaked and I've yet to rekindle it. At the rate it's going it's going to take me ten years to complete it. I don't know if I should force myself to continue, just can the entire series, or leave up the chapters I've done and put up an outline of what I planned to do. Whichever I do, I'm retiring from sprite comics afterwards. It's quite obvious my heart is simply not in it anymore.

6/05 - Games
So, two things: first off, I got that Rants section uploaded, along with a new section for Kirby Canvas Curse, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Final Fantasy IV Advance, and Yoshi's Story. I should look into a way to jump from page to page, like what I had in Suito Homu, but I'll do that later.

I also updated my Game Collection.

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