Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Every minute spent with this game was a minute spent wishing I was back in the original.

Bionic Commando, Round 2
Now I tackle the new Bionic Commando game on the 360. Honestly, I'm as surprised as anyone that this review even exists.

Blaster Master Overdrive
At least it's not as bad as the Bionic Commando reboot. Helps if you like to look at rocks, though.

Blasting Again Stupidity
Or, "How Jason Dodged a Bullet By Losing a Fight to a Monster Worm."

Condemned: Origins and Bloodshoot
Two survival horror games for the Xbox 360. Or rather, one survivial horror and one dark comedy.

Game Characters I Liked in 2004
Please cut the Codie of 2005 some slack while reading this embarassing piece. She was young and naive, and just a wee bit excited about some games she'd played the previous year. Although I still agree with the top three.

Game Prototypes
In which I smash code, placeholder artwork, and Kevin MacLeod music together until I get something resembling a video game.

I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead (Or When One of Us Is, Anyway)
Come tour some final bosses with me and Weird Al. Oh, and if you care about not seeing final bosses to games, even if you've never heard of the game before, spoiler warning.

A Look at the Sega Master System
Sega's 8-bit system, which even Sega probably doesn't remember. Maybe because they don't want to. If you'd like to skip the introduction and go straight to the game covers... well, that's what that link is for.

The Misadventures of p0rn Sigma
The Flying Omelette's classic, reposted here so we can all remember why Our Blood Boils is the best song in Mega Man X7; it's just an awesome rock song, but also it helped us forget about the fight with Sigma.

Monkey Island Oddities
I realize pointing out goofy stuff in a series with rubber chicken pulleys might be redundant, but some things are bizarre even for this series.

My Game Collection
Since everybody's doing it, I figured I'd write out the list of all the games I own at the risk of catching some crook's attention. But since nobody knows where I live, you can't rob me, so nya!

Nighshade Insanity
In this hybrid point-and-click and action game, you take on the role of the titular Nightshade as he battles Egyptian gods, anthropomorphic rats, ninjas, censor violations, and other general... well, insanity.

Pier Solar
Is it a terrible game, Genesis fanboy porn, or an ingenious satire on Sega's delusions? Well, one's for sure, at least.

Running the System Shocks on XP
If I can save just one person the time and frustation it took me to get these games running on Windows XP, I can die happy (Happy Meal Fun Time Bonus: Running Grim Fandango on XP)

Son of the Knight of the Fox
An in-depth look as to why Deltarune is the video game version of Grant Morrison's Animal Man, with Special Guest Berserk. (Note: This article appears in both the video game and book sections because I couldn't decide which it fit into more)

Ten Things I Like About Blaster Master 2
My admittedly weak attempt at defending the Blaster Master Nobody Loved.

The Ten Worst Video Game Cover Arts of
You've no doubt read a hundred of these things, but you've also no doubt taken a hundred personality tests. Welcome to the whimsical variety filled world known as the "Internet".

The Twenty Most Overrated Games I've Played
What's most shocking of all: that I gave #1 to what I did, that Shining Force is only halfway up the list, or that Earthbound is nowhere to be found?

Video Game Box Art I Actually Like
Wait, a writeup on good cover art? At I shit you not!

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Movies and TV

Dr. Robotnik: Animation's Sexiest Fat Man
I guess as far as the tone of Sonic goes, I still prefer "mind-scarringly disturbed" to "furry angst". Oh, and you can thank Ragey for the title.

Fifteen Questions about the Masters of the Universe Movie
Take a popular line of toys and turn it into a cartoon. Slaughter that cartoon and turn it into a live action movie. No, I'm not talking about Ninja Turtles, that was THREE movies.

My Ten Favorite MST3Ks
The funny thing is, I had never seen a full episode of MST3K when I wrote the Suito Homu article, yet it reads like one. I wonder if the guy who wrote that Metal Gear 2 walkthrough that inspired it was a fan of MST3K.

Suito Homu
The game is readily available through emulation, and worth the frustration it took me to figure out Dreamcast emulation. The movie is the most expensive DVD I have ever bought.

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Books and Such

The Blaster Master Comic
A fan of this game series since her childhood shows you a few chapters of this abomination. Afterwards, whether you liked it or not, you WILL appreciate the novel. And maybe even Blaster Master 2.

Daniel X is Terrible
I wanted to call this article "Daniel suX" but was afraid I'd be sinking to the book's level of immaturity, and would have to hit myself for that.

The Merged Hulk
Because I don't see how turning Bruce Banner into a thousand pounds of muscle and brilliance is any more ridiculous than turning him into an interstellar gladiator king.

The Modern Pip & Flinx Book Covers Suck
The adventures of Flinx, his faithful pet Minidrake Pip, and a bunch of asshats who flunked Graphic Design 101.

Prime Time
A reflection on a comic book that didn't quite get what it deserved. While I'm sure many who read it hold it as close to their hearts as I will, it really sucked to see it end when and how it did.

Return to the Ultraverse
So Prime won my heart and introduced me to some of his friends, but did I take them like I did their big buddy?

Son of the Knight of the Fox
An in-depth look as to why Deltarune is the video game version of Grant Morrison's Animal Man, with Special Guest Berserk. (Note: This article appears in both the video game and book sections because I couldn't decide which it fit into more)

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He-Man and the Colossus
A beast so vile that not even his forced motivation would make the wanderer go near, watch in suspense as He-Man slays the fiercest colossus of all.

The Nathan Spencer Figure
Something not terrible from the Bionic Commando reboot? I shit you not!

Reparing an Auron Play Art
You can't kill somebody who's already dead, Waluigi.

The Ultraforce Prime Figure
I don't know what's lamer; this toy, or the fact I'm just now reviewing a fifteen year old action figure I've had sitting in a drawer for two years.

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2010 In Review
Since I failed to make any Review Quickies for what I did in 2010, here's everything all at once. With pictures! And Skitties!

My Cracked Articles
For freelance work I've gotten published on Cracked. Actually, this is a link to my Cracked profile, because I figured I'd let them do the work of keeping everything in order.
(External link to Cracked)

Review Quickies
Short reviews of movies, games, maybe CDs and books that stole my heart, were okay, or left me with the insatiable desire to break thumbs.

Skitty Posting
I half considered calling this "Skit Posts" but Skitty deserves better.

The Ten Best Christmas Songs (That Everyone Finds Annoying)
If you think these songs are painful to listen to on YouTube, try listening to them at work every. Damn. Day.
(External Link to

Top 10 Weird Looking Birds that Look Photoshopped
Because Blue-Footed Boobys don't have the most baffling means of courtship in the bird kingdom.
(External Link to

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