More Daniel X Bullshit

- I just love how the Alparians dumped a bunch of elephants on our planet with complete disregard to how screwed up our ecosystems get when animals from the same planet get displaced.

- While watching my Simpsons DVDs, I found another annoying thing about that Sideshow Bob reference. When Bob took the show from Krusty in "Krusty Gets Busted" he started doing things like reading Man in the Iron Mask to the kids instead of showing a cartoon mouse mutilate a cartoon cat. Later in a press conference he said something about how he was glad he was able to convince the higher ups that kids could handle this stuff. And his final cry as the police hauled him off at the end was how children are smarter than we think they are. So yes, Patterson shoehorned a Sideshow Bob reference into something that goes completely against what Bob stood for. Too bad that wasn't irony, and just further proof of Patterson's dillusion of his own writing skills and/or his complete lack of understanding as to who the hell Sideshow Bob is.

- When somebody who thinks political correctness is for thin-skinned dullards who have to stir pots to give their lives a false sense of meaning is complaining about racism, something is seriously wrong with the material in question.

How Does Kevin Sit Inside Prime?

This has always confused me. In the Breyfogle comics Kevin's head was behind the P on Prime's chest, but that puts Kevin's shins where Prime's knees are - how could Prime bend his knees without crushing Kevin's legs? In the first Primevil issue with the creepy artwork Kevin's head was inside Prime's, but that's even worse; even if they had the same neck length for that to work, Rafferty would have decapitated Kevin when he blew Prime's head off. That also puts Kevin's shins at Prime's hip which would mean Prime couldn't sit down without crushing Kevin's legs. The best explanation would be that Kevin is curled up in the fetal position in Prime's torso, but that's not what any of the artwork suggests.

On Tetsuo's Mutation

While I was looking for the McFarlane figures on eBay, I came upon this gashopon of Tetsuo at the beginning of his mutation. He was crawling on the ground, the left side of his body a mass of organ-shaped tumors and whatnot, and he was crying out in horror. I found it remarkably disturbing. If I found a little immobile figure that frightening, I can only imagine how mentally scarring seeing that happen to a real person would be.

WTF Was Up with Captain Qwark and Kaneda?

1) I've had the "petting the one-eyed monkey" joke sitting around since I bought the Qwark figure, and knew the only other chance I'd get to use it would be if I reviewed the figure, but after how long it took me to review Spencer I rejected that idea. I could have used any other figure I had, but...
2) The Kaneda figure's mouth is hanging open for some reason. I thought he would look like he'd dropped his jaw at Qwark's question, but I guess it didn't work.
3) Besides, the whole point of the article was "Akira made no sense", so what better way to conclude than with an Akira-related non-sequitur?
4) And I had to do something to flush out the mental image I gave myself (and probably a few readers) of Tetsuo arm-raping Kaori/the blue girl/Kaneda.

Another Thing that Does Not Belong in 3D


I don't even know how I forget about this, this, and all of 3D Lemmings. I guess the PSP models aren't as bad as those other ones, but they look like their head is being devoured by a plant and I'm not too keen on them having toes.

Two More Things I'm Sick of Seeing in Games

1) Things hitting the screen. This ranges from rain and blood spatter to bullets to enemies and parts of exploding machines that leave a big smash mark. I don't know why people do this. At best all it does it remind you there's a piece of glass between you and the action, and at worst it obscures your view.

2) Structures collapsing in the ending. If you're going to do this, you better have a damn good reason. Sometimes it's acceptable (the first couple of times Castlevania did it, Final Fantasy 6, Vagrant Story), sometimes it's a stretch (Blaster Master, Sweet Home, Alundra), and most of the time the game designers are obviously making shit inexplicably crumble just to be "deep" or "symbolic" (every other time Castlevania did it, ICO, Shadow of the Colossus)