I'm really losing interest in Pokemon, if I haven't already. Diamond and Pearl were littered with bad gameplay decisions, like the mud that did nothing but temporarily stop your character and make you mash the D-pad to free them only to take another step and fall back in, or the snow that just make you walk really slow, and the Pokemon designs were the worst in the series (so far, anyway). Empoleon is the worst final form of a starter ever, Dialga looks like its head is going to fall off, Glameow and Purugly were completely unnecessary since we already have two other Normal-type two-member Neverused-tier cat Pokemon evolution families that both look a lot better, and Probopass has got to be the most unintentionally disgusting Pokemon ever. It looks like it has pubic hair, and its name sounds like "probe" and "pass", as in "what aliens do when they want to find out more about humans" and "what humans do to digested food out the same end the aliens probe in".

Then Gen 5 was announced. What the hell? Nintendo couldn't even wait for a new handheld system to put the games on? And what legendaries were they going to make, having already given us Pokemon that rule time and space and even created the whole bloody universe? A planet Pokemon? Go Unicron, I choose you? Or maybe Arcesus, the son of Arceus who died for our Pokesins.

Then came the starters, and it became clear what was inspiring these designs. Judging by its tail and expression, the Grass starter is a different kind of "grass" Pokemon. And on top of the Pokemon looking like total ass, at first glance I thought that shell on the water one's chest was a mushroom. I guess I don't have much to say about the pig, except that we really didn't need another curly-tailed pig Pokemon after Spoink and Grumpig.

Then the mascot legendaries were revealed:

I guess Zekrom would get away with just being needlessly complicated instead of ugly if it didn't have that utterly ridiculous cone shell or plane engine or whatever coming out of its ass that I'm guessing is its tail, but looks more like a giant tumor, but Reshiram... dear god. Protip: if you're going to stick arbitrary protrusions on your creature designs, try to resist the urge to put one between the thing's legs.

Reshiram looks like it was originally something else that stepped on a land mine, and when trying to put it back together nobody could remember what it originally looked like, so they just stuck pieces together and held everything in place with masking tape and glue and covering the worst parts with feathers. And somebody on the reconstruction team was a pervert.

Not at all surprising but still offensive is that the response to these failures of monster design has been mostly positive, with a few people not caring for Reshiram. I hate the Internet.