Asterix and Obelix: The Big Fight (Netflix)



I have read the original Asterix and the Big Fight comic so I did recognize several story beats like Getafix losing his memory, but it also meant I couldn't help but pick up on the things they changed like certain attributes of the psychiatrist they consult to get Getafix's memory back. The comics are almost entirely slapstick which can't hold up a movie (this is a five-episode miniseries but screw it, I'm treating it like a movie that's been spliced up) very well on its own, so they added drama between Asterix and Obelix to have some moral about respecting your friends, or something. But to give credit where it's due and not dismiss the movie as "they changed this and therefore it sucks," I did like how this called back to the floating and color-changing potions more than how the comic did.

That said, Metadata completely sucks and she comes across as somebody's Mary Sue Asterix OC. I didn't think Asterix was big enough with the kids to have OCs but that shit exists for the freaking Smurfs so what do I know. She's preachy, condescending, and every second she was on screen I just wanted her to leave. And I admit I haven't read the entire 41-book Asterix series but from what I've seen of them, Caesar wasn't a sissy mama's boy in them.

Rating:

The Cuphead Show, Complete Series (Netflix)



I played a little bit of Cuphead before watching this, namely the tutorial and the first few stages and bosses to assure myself that as much of a crapout as I am, at least I'm not this much of a crapout. This seems to be a prequel to the game (it ends with Cuphead and Mugman approaching a casino implied to be the one the game's story kicks off in) so knowledge of the game isn't required, but any Easter eggs for fans of the game were lost on me. I did go on to play through Cuphead in December, and when I rewatched "Roll the Dice" I caught that the paintings King Dice walks by in Hell are references to some of the Devil's attacks in the game.

It's a slapstick comedy, so you're not going to get a thoughtful analysis on the themes and symbolism of a pirate romancing a squid woman a hundred times his size from this quickie. Some episodes are better than others, like the Baby Bottle episode was a bit meh, but I think the only episode I seriously disliked was the Diaper Baby one. And any episode featuring the Devil was a treat.

Also, Bowlboy is voiced by Keith Ferguson. Yeah, Captain Basch in Final Fantasy XII, Glomgold in the Ducktales reboot, and Reaper in Overwatch. That dude's got a range.

Rating:

Ultraman, Seasons One and Two (Netflix)



Just like I had to disclaim I hadn't played Cuphead before watching the show, I have to disclose that I know next to nothing about Ultraman so this is an outsider's look without understanding all the callbacks and Easter eggs.

If you asked me to describe the first season of this show in one word, it would be "inconsistent." It starts out rough, but starts to come together at the concert with Agent Adad. Shinjiro isn't offensive, he's just kind of a generic protagonist who's torn between wanting to do the right thing and not wanting to hurt anyone. Moroboshi reminded me of why I still hold Auron as the gold standard for stoic characters: Auron wasn't completely humorless. Moroboshi's only mode is Captain Grumpypants and that isn't "stoic" or "badass," he's just an asshole. And Ace "haha you guys are getting your shit kicked in, serves you right for trying to help me!" is kind of a brat. Jack's fine but he doesn't get nearly enough screen time.

The battle choreography when the characters are in armor is great although I'm not the biggest fan of the Into the Spider-Verse low framerate, but the out-of-armor, character-driven scenes look like high-end PS2 cutscenes, and the floaty animation and lackluster facial expressions undercut the narrative. For example, there's a scene with Shinjiro and Moroboshi in an elevator, after Moroboshi reveals himself as Ultraseven. Shinjiro asks when Moroboshi got his own Ultraman suit and Moroboshi responds by calling Shinjiro a jealous brat who only cares about being Ultraman when somebody else gets a suit, to which Shinjiro snaps back with "Yeah, well, I can fly, can you?" Except Shinjiro didn't sound whiny or bratty at all, the tone of his voice indicated honest curiosity. Maybe that was the point, Shinjiro wasn't supposed to sound entitled, it was Moroboshi projecting his own jealousy and Shinjiro rubbing Moroboshi's nose in the fact that he can fly was him calling that out when it would have been more in-character for Shinjiro to try to defuse the situation by apologizing and explaining what he meant.

By the way, Moroboshi sounded really familiar and the first name to pop into my head was Gideon Emery. After hearing him a little more I realized if that's Gideon Emery he's doing one hell of a Liam O'Brien impression. Sure enough, Moroboshi is voiced by Illidan Stormrage and once I learned that I kept waiting for him to shout "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!" at Shinjiro.

If anybody's wondering how the hell I got Liam O'Brien and Gideon Emery confused, Emery may be best known for Balthier in Final Fantasy XII, but he also voices Lor'themar Theron, the leader of the Blood Elves in WoW (at least up to Dragonflight which is the last expansion I played).

There is a very weird point with Rena Sayama, the pop singer. When she's on her show, she's always gushing about how great Ultraman is and annoying her father by constantly bringing him up. But when Shinjiro asks her about Ultraman she tells him she actually hates Ultraman because her mother was killed in a fight between him and another alien. I felt like I'd turned over two pages at once?

And Shinjiro's strength is really inconsistent. One minute he's breaking somebody's leg just by grabbing it, then he's punching a fuse box full-force and not even denting it, then he's holding up the ceiling of an entire concert stadium, then he's getting pinned by a lizard alien that's maybe the size of a large pickup truck, then he's flying while hauling three other people in Ultraman armor, one of whom is the size of the rest of the four combined (or at least supposed to be, more on that later). Okay, that last one is in the second season, after a time jump of a few months, but still. I guess you could explain it as his physical strength correlating to the strength of his conviction and he has more reason to keep a ceiling from falling on a crowd than he has to wrestle one big lizard, but if that was the intention it doesn't come across that way and it just feels like's he's however strong the writer wants him to be at the time.

Season Two is only six episodes, which is disappointing because it improves on Season One in every way. Jack and Kotaro are the GOATs, between seasons Moroboshi loosened the stick in his ass and starts cracking jokes and sarcastic quips, and even Ace got an upgrade from "obnoxious little shit" to "cheeky scamp." Shinjiro is still a little bland, though.

The fight choreography is outstanding, no doubt mocap was involved, and they ditched the low framerate from the first season, but there are still odd details that keep these scenes from being as badass as they should be. For example, when Jack comes barreling through the cars, swatting them aside like they're balloons, the cars themselves lack weight and aren't taking any damage so it feels less like Jack is that powerful and more like the cars are balloons. And when Kotaro dodges his two punches here, Jack should absolutely be smashing holes in the asphalt.

I am far from the first person to make the observation that they made Ultraman "Jack" the big, buff one. Holy shit, he's not a unit, he's the whole damn warehouse. Even when he mysteriously shrinks when he opens his helmet (notice how Kotaro's eyes line up with the blue gem on Jack's chest in the first image, but his mouth in the second). Yeah, I get it, they want him to look big and powerful in action scenes but have to shrink his model when he's interacting with the other Ultramen otherwise he'd be towering over them and complicating the camera work, it's still weird.

Yeah, Kotaro banging on about justice and how nothing can stop the Ultramen if they work together may be a little corny but he's like an excited puppy: a little dopey, but so full of heart I just couldn't help but adore him. In fact, the show itself is like that.

Rating: for Season One, for Season Two

Robots versus Slime Monsters: An A. Lee Martinez Collection (A. Lee Martinez, Kindle ebook)



This is a collection of short stories based on Martinez' books, which I will confess I haven't read any of. After a melancholic opening story, most of the stories are if not comedic at least lighthearted like one that tries to combine Lovecraftian horror with pizza. The best stories are "Wizard Bait" where a rag-tag group of goblins, orcs, and other brutes straight out of the Horde defend a dragon's nest from looters, and "Dinner with Ares" in which two gods discuss their roles in the lives of mortals over dinner. I did also like "Grayback in Blue" although I'm not sure why the robot detective is on the cover of the book when the story stars his sidekick, an intelligent gorilla, while the robot's off on another assignment. And while "Cindy and Cragg" may not have been the strongest story overall, I can at least get behind the moral of inner strength being just as, if not more valuable than physical strength.

Some of the stories feel like teasers for the full books, namely "Death, Dust, and Other Inconveniences" and "Work Ethic." And "Imogen's Epic Day" completely lost me. It's like it was playing with the idea of video game quests being designed and managed by some agency, or something? Maybe it makes more sense if you've read the original book? I did pick up Gil's All-Fright Diner, A Nameless Witch, and Divine Misfortune on Kindle afterwards (would have grabbed more but those ones were on sale and I think I'd rather have a physical copy of In the Company of Ogres) so if Martinez's goal with this book was to get folks interesting in his full books then mission accomplished, I guess.

Rating: