The Infinity Gauntlet (Kindle eBook)

I read this to figure out what was going on between the three Hulk issues where Hulk gets whisked through a portal, shrunk down to about an inch, then returned to normal size with his clothes in shreds, but Infinity Gauntlet just made it even more confusing. Either you need to read all the crossover issues from all the other books, or there was some major screwup in communication. First of all, in the Hulk comics the Hulk goes right after Abomination after Rick vanishes, but Infinity Gauntlet shows him musing in a bar before deciding Abomination had something to do with it and giving chase. Then at the end of Infinity Gauntlet he's brought in to dogpile Thanos to keep him from reclaiming it, which I'm guessing is supposed to be when his clothes got destroyed. But that would be after Nebula undid all the destruction Thanos caused, which would have happened when Hulk was on Earth fighting Gestalt. What, did Dr. Strange put his clothes back together?

But even treating it as its own thing, I didn't care much for it. For a major event that starts off with Thanos wiping out half of all life in the universe and knocking the earth out of its orbit, the whole thing was pretty inconsequential. After all the Marvel heroes get their asses kicked, a bunch of cosmic deities jump in to fight Thanos and the battle escalates to the point of total meaninglessness. And then a great big reset button is hit and everything goes back to normal. Sure, it made for some great moments in the Hulk comics, and maybe even some other characters' books, but on its own there's not much going for it.


Goldeneye (PG-13)

Uuurgh, Statue Park flashbacks...

Goldeneye on the N64 might be a classic, but the movie it's based on left something to be desired. Some scenes were dragged out too long like the car chase in the beginning, that woman who went into orgasm every time she killed somebody was annoying, and Sean Bean survives so much abuse I half expected him to walk away from having the Citadel dropped on him at the end. Although I did sort of like seeing such environments as the ship and satellite base and being able to think "Oh, I remember this from the video game!"

.. until... you know, the Statue Park.



Short Circuit (PG-13)

I don't have much to add to FO's capsule review for this movie over here, except that when it does turn into a comedy, said jokes are mostly pop culture references and impressions. I could stomache them in this case, seeing as how Johnny-5 got most of his - for lack of a better word - education from the television, and the three robots doing a Three Stooges routine was sort of funny. And Johnny-5 had enough personality besides proto-Family Guy Character that I don't want to beat him too hard for liking the Three Stooges.