"Dum dee doo, I think I'll go out for a drive after that stuff with the baby screams."
Wonder what gas prices were like in Japan back then.
"I'm actually not here for gas or a tuneup or anything, I just need your restroom!"
He's watching football.
You've only been here two seconds and you're already checking the time?
Oh, a camera pan.
Hey Akiko, maybe you should check where all those metal noises are coming from.
"I'll just wait for him to magically appear out of thin air."
Akiko takes a glance at some Japanese writing, and some coins that are totally screaming to be swiped.
Well, something exciting happened, because the guy on the radio is yelling, and the car's shaking.
And Yamamura's laughing his gimply old ass off.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!
All that movement shakes the radio off.
That can't be good.
Yeah, that's definitely not good.
Down, down, down...
Maybe he just "sparked" the car and it's trying to get closer?
Yeah, it takes some yelling to make you go check outside.
"Oh, nothing really. I've got a car on my chest, but I think I like it under here."
"Tell her I'm not right for her!"
"I wonder what happens if I push the lever...
I can't make fun of this. The picture speaks for itself.
"ME SO CRUSHED NO CAN SENTENCE ASSEMBLE!"
"I think I can, I think I can!"
"Oh man, I need a cigarette!"
Sure enough. And in another moment of Yamamura genius, he smokes it by the gasoline.
Hey, be more careful! Gas wasn't even free back then!
Filmers take the time to show Mura close up the gas tanks.
If that thing looks familiar to you, you've played the game. If you knew it was the Tool that opened the door to the basement and was the first item used in the fight against Mamiya that you got by pushing that statue in the Courtyard into the fountain of blood, congratulations, you need to get out more.
If you're hoping the movie explains what that thing is, don't get your hopes up. The movie doesn't tell you anything about it that the game didn't.
Well, okay, now we know it's an amulet. We still don't really know what it is. Like part of the baby's crib or something.
We also know you can't buy it anywhere, so you can stop monitoring eBay.
Er, the gas or the amulet?
THE GAS OR THE AMULET???
Akiko, it's free gas!
Wow, some chick knows your name, probably because your store is called something like "Yamamura's Auto Station: Stop In And Get Your Car Worked"
"But I'll rudely snatch stuff from their hands!"
"I can't imagine what happened to our rearview mirror. Maybe Asuka ate it."
"I'm taking it over to the United States to scalp it and make some money!"
Anything you were about to tell her would be wasted, man. They're already messed up the place.
Well, that was impolite. But he did snatch the amulet from her.
"I fear the worst."
"I think you're going to be needed."
"Or the world is doomed."
The movie took so much time making it obvious something's going through Mura's head, so I thought I would too.
"Today were's filming the creepy paintings!"
"And leave the dead baby coffin! It's creeping people out!"
"And try not to get a lot of footage of her ass."
Taguchi's sounds pretty depressed when he says this, implying he's either still in shock, still sad that he has to settle for Asuka, or has to focus the camera on her because Akiko said so. One of those.
Because the camera broke its back.
"Why don't you?"
Turn around, stupid.
"Oh, my bad."
Well, I can't blame her. That's a coffin, and when she saw it in the painting she thought it was a cemetery.
Brilliant! Instead of simply picking up the cryptic looking box and setting it somewhere else, she decides to OPEN it!
Hm, but it won't open. Possibly because Asuka opened it by lifting something, while Emi's here trying to slide it.
"You've been gone five whole seconds."
Yes, because it totally needs to be opened, instead of just moved.
Then they both jump on it.
Well, that didn't work.
Then the cover just flies off on its own. Wait, in the last chapter, Asuka opened it by lifting part of it, so what's this sliding crap?
Hey, you guys wanted to open it.
Fine by us!
I still can't believe none of these people notice something familiar about this coffin with a burned baby in it.
Hey, it's Little Mac!
See, they did have shovels! Yet Asuka still pushed it by screaming high-pitched shrieks twice?
Yeah, well, you're Asuka. You probably don't remember what you had for dinner last night.
"We'll give you everything we own if you do."
Asuka runs off, throwing off some of her clothes along the way.
"You don't know how to drive stick!"
Chapter 5: "Give Me Back My Baby"|
Chapter 7: Sanity's Requiem
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