ICO (PS2 / T)
There may have been two acceptable puzzles in the entire game. Most of the time you're following a linear path of bombastic, thoughtless, and often downright tedious platform hopping, chain swinging, ladder climbing, wall hugging ledge shuffling, and pipe shimmying, and activating all the switches along the way be they levers to be pulled, pressure plates to be pressed, or candles to be lit. Occasionally you solve some semblance of a puzzle that any serious gamer, or anyone who isn't retarded, period, shouldn't have to think about for more than two seconds because it's stupidly obvious, and the slightly less obvious puzzles are not only still easy but have been done ten times before in Zelda and Zelda clones. You're probably spending more time holding R1 to call Yorda or help her up a cliff or over a pit than doing anything of relevence, combat might be deep and thought provoking compared to Final Fight, most of the game is played in total silence and what little music there is is all forgettable ambience (which raises the question: why was a soundtrack released for this game???), Ico runs like he's trying to hold in a turd and apparently uses the sword/stick to compensate for his "immaturity" when he gets "excited" by holding a girl's hand, and the most remarkable thing about the scenery is the way the size, color, and arrangement of the tiles on the walls around the main gate makes that area look like a giant bathroom.
Rating: Limp

Contra (NES)
The game isn't overrated, but the difficulty sure is. It offers a decent challenge, and some good graphics and music, but do people seriously think it's unbeatable without the 30-lives code?
Rating: Good

Final Fantasy 7 (PSX / E)
The problem with this game isn't so much the game as it is the rabid fanbase, although the game still has its flaws. Mainly, it's littered with some of the stupidest minigames I've ever mucked through, including but not limited to the motorcycle ride where I couldn't seem to hit anything, the snowboarding with the bad controls, the mountain climbing where you have to button mash to warm yourself up at every cliff, the Rufus Shinra welcoming display, performing CPR on the little girl, the list goes on. But when it knocks off that minigame crap and delivers solid RPG gameplay, it's actually quite decent.
Rating: Decent

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All (DS / E)
It's okay, what with all the puzzles and all. But the entire game is like the fifth chapter of the first game. The dialogue tends to be quite irritating to read and the characters aren't that interesting, and sometimes are just plain annoying such as the Iny Miney character who takes forever to say anything. The final chapter had a great idea that was suffocated by gameplay fluff and having the catch rammed down your throat in the cheesiest ways possible, and all the plot holes that are opened up by your time buying are resolved by having the Judge acknowledge them.
Rating: Decent

D (Saturn / T)
The Harrises are descended from Dracula and Laura ate her mother. While that was ten times funnier in the actual game, you'd have to muck through an hour of nothing to get there.
Rating: Garbage

Monster Party (NES)
I like the graphics and mapping the door maze in Level 6, but everything else about the game is uninspired.
Rating: Eh