Adventure (Atari 2600)
I know a lot of people complain about games like Heavenly Sword that cost $60 at launch and can be beaten in five hours. I want to know how much this game cost at launch, preferrably recalculated to inflation, because you can probably beat all three difficulty settings in a combined total of ten minutes, though it'll probably take you half an hour to do it the first time. Also, I just love how the 3rd level randomizes everything and opens the chance for the game to be incompletable, or cutting an already short game in half.
Mega Man 4 (NES)
It's Mega Man.
Drakengard (PS2 / M)
A poor man's clunkier Dynasty Warriors combined with a poor man's clunkier Panzer Dragoon. When fighting as Caim, the vast majority of enemies are beaten through button mashing, and the tougher ones can be beaten by jump-slashing or doing a running thrust over and over. You can mount the dragon, and then hammer the Square button to burn everything, then go back to Caim if you run into some archers. Then there's the dragon-only stage with sluggish controls and a camera that prefers to be cinematic than managable. Growing Wings is the second worst vocalized song in a game I've heard yet (first would be PARTS from Mega Man X: Command Mission) - monotonous singing, repetetive and obnoxious bassline, and lyrics that read like they were directly translated from Japanese with no regard given to rhythm and length. But there are some things I respect about this game. The plot and writing are very good (except for that giant flying babies crap in the fourth endgame. That was just insane). The voice acting is some of the best I've heard in a video game (although I don't know how much that's saying). And the game is incredibly smooth, with fluid animation and no drop in the framerate when you're surrounded by a fifty fully animated enemies. While the game has its ugly moments (the Imperial City is way too red), some areas like the Blue Mountains are fairly pleasant, and even the ugly parts are at least still inspired. Too bad all this potential got laid to ruin by lazy developers who picked the laziest genre they could make a game for.
Dynowarz, Rockin' Kats, Puss 'n Boots (All NES)
To give you an idea of how short and easy these games are, I beat all three of them on the same day.
Rating: Garbage, Lame, Lame