2013 Updates

12/26 - It's My Party and I'll Bitch if I Want To
Hope you all enjoyed your Christmas cheer, 'cause now it's time to get the bile umbrellas out. That's right, I finally got around to finishing and reviewing Pier Solar. Spoiler alert: It's still completely terrible.

And over in the Music section I updated the Cthulhu Saves the World music with the official track names and the artist.


12/04 - Presenting Probably the Nerdiest Quickie I've Ever Written
Let's see what I was up to in October and November with the latest batch of quickies.

There was something I was hoping to get up for my birthday, but it's taking significantly longer than I thought it would. But I should get done in time to ruin your Christmas.


11/17 - Lax Master
I've added two games to the Game Music section: The Binding of Isaac with - appropriately enough - thirteen songs, and Blaster Master: Blasting Again with nine. Funny, on one set I had to remove a loop from the songs, and on the other I had to add one.

I might throw up some more Blasting Again music later, but since I have to sift through a bunch of noodling to find the worthwhile stuff, then manually edit in the second loop, I'll take that one a little at a time.


10/15 - Push the Buttons!
August and September quickies today.

And since there's a whopping four movies between the two months, and the two in August barely count as reviews (one amounts to "check this other person's review"), I also added some Super Meat Boy music to the Music section. That soundtrack actually makes me feel bad for trash talking the game back in 2011.


09/10 - A Loop of Infinite Madness
A year later, I finally got another Cracked article accepted, this one being a team up with Sever R (thanks, pal!): 6 Hilarious Video Game Glitches You Have to See to Believe. For the curious, I wrote the entries for Aliens: Colonial Marines, the enemy suicides in Melee and Dark Souls, and Assassin's Creed III.

I apologize, but my August was just too miserable for me to prepare an update for this site, so here's a grab bag of older stuff for you to check out:

1993 Called. It Wants Its Console War Back

Blasting Again Stupidity

Daniel X is Terrible

Dr. Robotnik: Animation's Sexiest Fat Man

Review Quickies

Terrible Crossover Fanfiction


08/18 - Healing Wounds
Another update to an old title in the Game Music, this time twelve new songs for Elemental Master. There were actually some really spiffy songs in that game I didn't have up for some reason, though in the case of the later bosses it was because the charged Light shot is so stupidly overpowered I'd take them out just as their music was starting, so I never really got to listen to those until I sat down with a .gym set.

I was going to get that up sooner, but at the beginning of the month my life went completely to hell with the sudden death of my brother, who was only 28. I still can't believe it. He'd just come down to my workplace to give me a jump when I left my car's lights on. At the beginning of the week, he'd done a pig roast with a neighbor. Two nights before he took me to dinner with the money he got from that pig roast. The night before he was playing Portal 2. I love you, Cameron, and I always will. May we be reunited in the next life.


07/17 - Got Got Need Got Need Got
May and June quickies, fresh off the grill. Would've come sooner, but the Steam Summer Sale happened.


06/29 - RAZE DA ROOF
Got a haul of of Game Music for you all. First up, a new section for Brain Lord with a whopping 21 songs, although some are better than others.

Next, five songs have been added to Jamestown and I've edited all the songs to display the game's full name of "Jamestown: Legend of the Lost Colony".

Third, I've added one song to Shadow of the Beast III.

And finally, 29 songs have been to CIMA: The Enemy, and I rewrote the laughably bad intro. I don't know why some of these games' soundtracks are so incomplete. Maybe I was trying to be selective when I launched that section? Or only putting up a few songs as a teaser? I dunno, but it's time to fix that.

There was one another game I intended to flesh out, but figured I'd save that for next time.


06/16 - For All The Dads Out There Who Are Into Contact Lens Porn
I've revamped the My Opinion Ruined Everyone's Christmas table of contents to be less wall of text-y. And for good measure, there's a sixth batch of Bizarre Search Queries up as well.


06/09 - Zoidbird!
I got another TopTenz list published: Top 10 Weird Looking Birds That Look Photoshopped. I added a link to it into the File Cabinet.

Unfortunately, I slacked off and don't have any additional content for the site, though. Feel free to peruse, though!


05/20 - I Made a Funny
Next up, the Review Quickies for March and April. If you're wondering why I didn't play Escape from Monkey Island, I started playing it and cleared the first act at Lucre Island, but the most I got out of it was an indicator of why Tales doesn't mention it very often. The game's also buggy as hell on XP, and I had to replay the only inspired moment so far roughly five times because a patch broke my saves, and then Guybrush kept getting trapped in a pier.


05/03 - Dead Horses
Yeah, sorry I really didn't do anything in April. I was juggling a couple of projects, then a couple more came up, and I wound up getting none of them done on time. Hopefully that means I should be able to fire off several things in May.

Let's start with some more Genesis fanboy flamebaiting in MOREC as I inform the Internet that 1993 Called. It Wants Its Console War Back.


03/31 - Easter Bunny? 'Round Here, It's the Easter Lemming
Finally, I got the Lemmings: The Genesis Quest article finished. Or at least as finished as I could with the amount of time I care to invest into it. Seriously, fuck that book.

Since that's a bit short (again, fuck that book), I've also thrown up some assorted Monkey Island music in the Music section. Since most of the games only have a song or two I feel is worth uploading (i.e. the opening credits theme), I just threw all the songs for the series into one category.

UPDATE UPDATE 4/5: A discussion at Flying Omelette's forum prompted me to download a .gym set of Elemental Master, which contained the official names of the songs. So, I updated my Elemental Master listing in the Game Music with them.


03/13 - Jib Jig
2013 quickies kick off with January and Februrary.


02/17 - A Pathetic Creature of Meat and Bone
I was aiming to get that article on Lemmings: The Genesis Quest done for Valentine's Day, but that didn't happen, and it didn't happen in the next few days, so I'm putting it off for at least a week more. Until then, here's another round of Odds and Ends in MOREC.

Also, System Shock 2 is now available at GOG.com. But 1 is still stuck in licensing hell, so my article on running the games on XP isn't completely obsolete yet.


01/14 - I've Got a Fucking Image To Maintain
The ads on the Bestiary expired, so I took them down, but unlike Lemmings Forever I didn't do anything on the actual page. I'll get to revamping it later. Instead, I close 2012 with December quickies and the Year in Review.